2
1st. (五) Saturday. A cloudy and cold day.
3
Mr. T.A. Hearn, an old Wesley Hall friend of mine, arrived here this morning. Was very glad to meet him.
4
Little Allen Loehr the other day told his papa that he didn't want to be a preacher. On being asked his reason, the little fellow said, "Cause I don't want to scold people all the time." Well. I must be profited by this. Am tired of scolding China and Corea.
5
An enterprizing Chinese gentleman named 蕭 has opened an inn on the Honan Rd. near the English police station for the Coreans in Shanghai. The magistrate of Shanghai lately issued a proclamation urging all the Coreans to stay in the new inn. This afternoon I went to the inn, called 柔遠居, to see some Coreans. But they would none of me. They just blessed me out the inn. There are said to be about 40 Coreans in the place.
6
Mr. Hearn led the Saturday night prayer meeting at the McT. Home. I love Miss Helen Richardson more and more. But for the ladies of the homes I would have a sorry time of it in Shanghai.
7
Yesterday evening received my Darling's letter and 7 little notes from Sister. How sweet!
8
The wonderful power of the Confucian classics and 古文 have on the readers, whether they be Chinese or Corean or Japanese is largely rhetoric. The style of these writings is fascinating. The Chinese language (written) affords one an excellent facility for clothing Lilliputian thoughts with Brob-dingnagian expressions.
10
3rd. (七) Monday. A cloudy and cold day.
11
This noon Allen L. came to my room. Seeing a blue pencil, he asked me for it. I gave it to him. But before leaving the room he put back the pencil on the desk saying "Papa told me not to beg people for anything." He took the pencil only when I told him that I would give it to him of my own choice as a present. Certainly Mr. L. knows how to bring up children in the way they should go.
13
4th. (八) Tuesday. Cloudy and chilly.
14
Felt so week most of the day that I could hardly speak. Inexpressibly sad in the evening. Was oppressed with the fear that my Darling's strength might fail when the time of her deliverance should come.
15
Attended the missionary conference of the month at the home of Rev. Tatum. (He has a lovely wife) . Rev. Massie read an excellent paper on the relation of the missionary to his home church. He pointed out the importance of keeping the home church well informed, the danger of exciting false enthusiasm by sensational stories and statistics, the error of looking too eagerly for numerical results. The paper was followed by a lively discussion on what to write home about and how. The conclusion of the whole matter was:
16
1. Inform the churches at home as correctly as possible concerning the customs, needs and prospects of the field.
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2. Do not cover up the difficulties and the unpleasant aspects of the work.
18
3. Write what you think true only, leaving the results of your statements to take care of themselves.
19
4. Give the imparitial views of the dark and bright sides of your field.
20
On our way home Mr. Loehr said, in substance;―
21
1. "I don't believe calling our school a College. It is exceedingly misleading.
22
2. "I wrote to Dr. Lambuth sometime ago that what we want here are teachers of ordinary education and of earnest piety. That anyone who may come out expecting to make a college of this in the American sense of the word will be dreadfully disappointed.
23
3. "I am a preacher first and a teacher second. I would quit the school at once if I could not preach Christianity to my boys as freely as I want to.
24
4. "Mary Allen has no business in the school. She does not take the least interest in the religious work of the institution. Her father excused her from attending the Sunday services on the pretex of her going to the foreign church. But all the Sunday mornings she spends at home in reading novels. Dr. Allen once wrote to Mrs. Wightman about the proper qualifications of a lady who might desire to teach in the A.C.C. I told him sometime ago 'Why don't you read the letter to Mary? A missionary school is no place for a girl who teaches only for the money there is in it, and who came here simply for the sake of her father."
25
I agree with Mr. L. on all of the points he made.
27
8th. (十二) Saturday. Rained all the a.m.
28
Felt wretched until 4 p.m. Went to Sister's home, Fairly ran―the expectation of meeting my dear Sister giving wings to my feet. With what fear and hope did I peep into her house! She was there! For the first time in many a weary day I felt happy, all because an object of my love was there. Stayed up to 9.
31
The coldest day we have had in the Winter so far. A ugly day but a lovely night-only too cold.
33
1. Last Sunday afternoon Dr. Allen said to me, "I have been studying the present war with as much interest as a boy would his first lesson in geography. China, just before the War, was given some credit for her new army, navy and forts. But the War has shown the perfect hollowness of her pretensions. I have been shocked by the revelation that I am preaching to, and writing for, a people who are, as the Bible says, given over to believe in lies."
34
2. A number of negroes were fishing when a boy fell into the water. He would have drowned but for the effort of an aged negro. A bystander admiringly asked Uncle. Mose, "Is that your son?" "No boss" said the old man, "but he had all de bait in his pocket!" Japan's motive for trying to reform poor Corea seems to be as disinterested as that of Uncle Mose for saving the boy.
35
3. "I shall be glad when I get big enough to wash my own face" muttered little Johnny after his mamma had got through with him. "Then I won't wash it." China and Corea wish to be let alone by foreign powers to reform them selves. But let alone, neither China nor Corea will reform.
36
4. When I go out for a walk, a jinrikisha man often puts his vehicle right in my way for me to get in. When business requires or pocketbook enables me to indulge in the luxury, what a pleasure the little carriage gives to me! But I find the officious concern of two wheels a nuisance when I have no mind, oftener no money to ride. So it is with opportunities. They prove a blessing or a hindrance to us according as we are prepared or unprepared to avail ourselves of them.
37
5. Last week five boys put down their names in the probationer's book. One thing this indicates: that is to be a Christian incurs no hatred or contempt of the heathen boys of the School.
39
12th. (十六) Wednesday. The coldest day we have had this Winter. Ice this morning.
40
My room is a poor one to Winter in. It is open on two sides near the ceiling. Admits no stove. Often I go out strolling about in the streets like one out of his mind simply because the room is too cold and boys boo noisy for me. The room which Mr. L. uses for his S.S. class would give me warmth and quiet both of which I long for very much. But I shall not ask for it. It serves his purpose to keep me where I am for overseeing the boys. It is fortunate that I have a Georgian overcoat, a Corean robe and a Chinese silk gown. With these on I feel proud to contemplate that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like me.
41
At 9 p.m. Mr. Miyake(三宅延) of Japan called on me. He is connected with the China Gazette. Like all Japanese he is polite, agreeable and neat.
43
16th. (二十) Sunday. Very cold-rained and snowed all the p.m.
44
Called on the ladies of the Trinity Home. Took supper there. The rain snow and cold outside made the little dining room look cozier, the fire more cheerful and the chat more enjoyable than if the weather were brighter.
46
21st. (二十五) Friday. Bright and cold.
48
1. Last Monday and Tuesday were perhaps the coldest days I have ever seen in Shanghai. Water remained frozen throughout the whole of Monday. The snow stays on the northern slopes of buildings till now.
49
2. Supped at Prof. Bonnell's. The large stove at the end of the hall of his house which last year glowed with cheering fire stands cold and rusty making the place look colder by reminding one of the change of circumstances that has come to the home. Just before the supper as Prof. Bonnell and I sat before the dining room fire each being absorbed in his respective thoughts, Alice and Gladice were merrily singing away "Boom la ra boom etc." as if there were nothing in the world but songs, sunshines and smiles. Happy childhood! Blessed ignorance!
50
Miss Reynolds was in the company. She was red hot with indignation at the way in which Prof. Bonnell has been treated. She condemned the parties severely who, by secret wirepulling and machinations, brought about the official disgrace of Prof. Bonnell.
51
3. One of the religious lessons in the First Reader says that "God tole Adam and Eve that He would send His Son to the world to die for men." This is simply a pious fib. Even in the 15th verse of the 3rd Chapter of Genesis (the theological value of which is very meagre) God doesn't say anything like what this First Reader so repulsively states.
52
Received letters from dear Spence, Mrs. Armor, Bessie B. and Lon Eakes.
53
The poor apology of a stove which Mr. L. uses in the office is a thing of contempt. One of Mr. L.'s faults is expecting the most service from the least pay.
55
23rd. (二十七) Sunday. A gloomy and chilly day.
56
As usual took supper at Dr. Allen's. Mrs. Allen has been very motherly and sweet to me ever since I have known her―years ago.
57
The cheerless day makes me inexpressibly sad. The gloomy circumstances in which Prof. Bonnell pain and hurt me.
58
Tonight I want three things none of which is within my reach. (1) I want to see my precious Darling. (2) I want a warm and comfortable room. (3) I want a quiet place.
59
When you show any mark of kindness or courtesy to a Japanese girl anywhere, in the street or public resorts, you are sure of a kind smile, a graceful bow or a sweet "arigate". But if you should smile or nod to a Cantonese girl, large or small, you would get for your courtesy a dreadful scowl plus a snappish "maw" or cuss. I have tried time again, and have never seen a Cantonese girl, however pretty she may be and however little, but that she would give me a scowl for a smile, a scolding for a nod, a bad word for a "good morning." The same is true of the little girls of other parts of China, to more or less offensive degree. A significant commentary on the comparative civilization of the two countries.
60
The M.E.Ch.S. missionaries pray to God and urge the home church to send more laborors to China. Why do some of them make it so hot for certain persons as Prof. Bonnell? In my letter to Dr. Lambuth, yesterday, I gave a piece of my mind on the matter.
62
24th. (二十八) Monday. A cloudy and comparatively warm day.
63
At 4:30 p.m. Mrs. Bonnell sent me a tray of cakes, nuts, fruits etc. Somehow or other I appreciated the present even more than I did the one she sent me last Xmas evening. May be because I felt that this was the last Xmas cake she would and could give me from her Shanghai home. May be because I know that she understands how deeply I sympathize with her husband and that she, on that account, looks upon me almost like one of her family. For, to those who smart under real or imaginary wrongs, any show of sympathy is welcome.
64
My Darling Sister gave me a really beautiful book mark and two very pretty ink blotters. I am proud of her sweetest thing in the McTyeire School!
65
Took supper at Dr. Allen's. Dr. Allen handed me a letter from my father and mother. They want me to return to Corea. God guide me!
67
25th. (二十九) Tuesday. A lovely day for Xmas.
68
After the Xmas service in the College Chapel, went to the McTyeire Home to witness the distribution of Xmas gifts to the scholars of the M.E.S. Mission Day Schools in Shanghai. The large tennis ground(?) of the McTyeire School was crowed by little children bright with the season's joys. Helped the ladies to distribute little bags of nuts, candies etc. to the children. I alone handed three large baskets full of red bags. Certainly it was a good sight to see the happy children made happier by cakes and fruits. One thing that attracted my notice was the conspicuous absence of the native elements in the whole program. Almost every thing was done by and through the good missionary ladies. Am certain that most, if not all, of the expenses was born by the missionaries. In Japan such a thing would be almost impossible. The Chinese Christians at least of this section of the country, seem to be unable to manage any enterprize without the guide of the missionary. They depend on him or her too much.
69
The bright and happy scene was rendered brighter and happier to me by the presence of Darling Sister among the spectators.
70
Took the Xmas dinner at Prof. Bonnell. There was a marked decrease of good things on the table. Prof. and Mrs. Bonnell look quite pale.
72
27th. (十二月初一) Thursday. A very gloomy day and biting cold-gloomier and colder by following two beautiful days just gone.
73
This morning, received a long letter from my cousin at Tokio. He urges me to return to Corea, offering to pay my travelling expenses etc. Wrote the following letter to the faculty of the A.C.C.
74
"My Dear Sirs: A few days ago I received a letter from my father asking me to come home. Another letter just to hand from a cousin of mine now connected with the Corean Legation at Tokio, Japan, says that he has been requested by the members of the new government to ask me to return. While I have no ambition for entering into the troubled politics of Corea one thing seems plain to me that the opportunity has come for my return.
75
"There being no hinderances to my returning home, I would prove untrue to my country, to my parents, and to my conscience should I spend my time in teaching the Chinese boys which any foreigner could do and do better than I. while I may do somethings in Corea which no foreiner can do as well. I therefore tender my resignation as an assistant teacher in the College.
76
"Thanking you for the kindnesses I have received at your hands, as a student and as a helper; and assuring you that. God being my help, I shall try to benefit others by the Christian education you have given me, I am etc. etc. etc."
77
Called on Mr. Richard. He heartily approved the course of action I am intending to take. To his inquiry what my plans were, I answered him that I have two:
78
1st To connect myself with one of the Missions in Corea, devoting my time to the production of a useful literature for the enlightenment of the common people.
79
2nd To take a position in the government. Should I have my choice I would take charge of the Board of Education. In that case, I would spend some time in Japan for the purpoce of investigating the Japanese system and of introducing it to Corea. This plan Mr. R. warmly approved.
80
Mr. R. makes me love him without any effort. He is so sweet, so good, so sensible, so diligent, so Christly in his words and manners. He told me the following story which seems almost too good to be true:―
81
There is a small Christian Chapel at Pying Yang with a few Corean converts, most subjected to persecution. When the Chinese soldiers took possession of the city. GeneralWei gave orders that Christian chapels and missionaries should be held sacred. Some believers among the troops used to go to the chapel to attend the services. After the Chinese were driven out, the Japanese officers not only protected the chapel, but also allowed their Christian comrades and even Chinese Christians who had been taken prisoners to worship their common savior in the chapel. Thus while war and desolation were spreading terror all around, the little humble place of worship was the holy spot at which the love and peace of Christ united the iron hands of war in common brotherhood.
82
GeneralWei, with all his cowardice, has according to Mr. Richard always respected missionaries and this good will of his is largely due to the kind attention which Mrs. Richard once showed to his wife.
83
In acknowledgement of the receipt of the New T. the Empress Dowager has sent rolls of satin, silk etc. to the missionary ladies who were most active in getting up the fund.
84
This afternoon hearing that I have no fire in my room, Prof. Bonnell offered me the room which Miss Dona once used for her study. Very kind in him! How different he is to me from Dr. Allen who changed the subject most abruptly when his wife was one day sympathising with me for the coldness of my room.
86
29th. (三) Saturday. A bright day, but sharply cold.
87
This morning Mr. L. said to me, "Well, I am partly sorry and partly glad that you are going home. We shall be put to it for want of help here, but we can not keep you from your own country. If I were in your place I would go too. I hope you will be able to get into the new government. For you can do vastly more good in the government than being an employee in a mission." The last sentence surprised me very much coming, as it did, from Mr. L.'s mouth. Both Mr. Richard and Dr. Allen think the same way.
88
So far as my personal safety and support are concerned, I can at present find no better position than the one I have here. But is there nothing more important for a man than safety and support?
89
Mr. L. has succeeded in persuading the boys of the advanced classes to start a debating society. The subject for discussion this morning was "The present war is benefitial to China." Chung Yu Lung(鄭有齡) spoke on the affirmative and that very creditably. His principal thought was that God is using Japan, the nation China most despised, to awaken the Emperor and his people to the utter weakness of the empire.
90
Being too cold in my room to do anything, went out running about. What a waste of time!
91
Attended the McT. Home prayer meeting. Mr. Lucas led it. In his prayer Dr. Allen invoked the Divine blessings on me. I was much moved; the shadows and lights through which I have passed these ten years seem like a dream. How good God has been to me in giving me such friends as Dr. and Mrs. Allen, Prof. and Mrs. Bonnell and others. After the meeting, had a long talk with Miss Helen Richardson.
93
30st. (四) Sunday. A bright but cold day.
94
Took tiffin at Dr. Allen's. He and his wife strongly advised me to take the highest position in the government that I may be able to get.
95
At 3 p.m. went to Sister's home. Had a delightful time in her charming and charmed company until 8 p.m.
97
31st. (五) Monday. A cold and cloudy day.
98
In the afternoon, removed into a corner room and put up my stove. What a comfort!
99
Took supper at Prof. Bonnell's Mrs. Bonnell seems to be very much depressed. Poor mother! Cares and anxieties seem to be weighing her down heavily.
100
I am just hungry for my precious Darling.
101
"Chang Yiu Huan one of the envoys to Japan to negotiate terms of peace has left Pekin already and is expected to proceed via Shan hai Kwan in one of the C.M. steamers flying the German flag." Thus, after the disgraceful failure of Detring's mission to Japan, China is awaken to the necessity of sending a sure enough Chinaman of rank to sue for peace.
102
Mrs. Allen keeps servants for years and years. The table boy now serving her has been there as long as I remember having seen him when I first arrived here. On the contrary, Mrs. Bonnell has changed her boy at least five times since Oct. Much of Mrs. Bonnell's unhappiness is no doubt due to her high temper.
103
Dr. as well as Mrs. Allen and many of the Southern ladies at the Homes don't understand the slang expression. "in the soup".
104
A stormy year has gone. What will be the next? Goodbye, '94!
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