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◈ 윤치호일기 (1895년) ◈

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1. 1월 1일

1
1st. (6th of 12th Moon, Kap-o Year). Tuesday.
 
2
A lovely day to begin the year with. At 10 a.m. all the teachers assembled in the office to receive and give the New Year's greetings. Most of the boys were present Peanuts, oranges and cakes (supplied by Dr. Allen and Mr. L.) were served to the boys. Had a prayer and two songs of praise.
3
Wrote the first letter of the year to my precious Darling because she is the first object of my love.
4
Spent about two hours of the a.m. in putting my books in a trunk.
5
This morning one of the native teachers, Mr. Zo 曹先生 said to me in Chinese "我望儂長生得子". The Happy play of words on 長生菓 (groundnuts) and 橘子(Oranges) , which suggested this form of good wishes, called forth a merry laughter from the boys. By the way, it is a Chinese custom to send red eggs to friends when one gets a son.
6
Received a letter and a photo from Chung Mun Kwong, one of my old A.C.C. schoolmates. He is in the Ichang Custom Service. It is rather remarkable that the first Chinese gentleman I met on my arrival at Shanghai, 10 years ago, was Mr. Chung Mun Kwong, Henry's elder brother, then the interpreter in the American consulate. That Henry was my schoolmate during my stay of 3 1/2 years in the College. And that one of his younger brothers, Chung Mun Ngo, has been in the College ever since my return from America.
7
Called on but missed Mr. Miyake 三宅延 at the 東興洋行. A number of Japanese were there with a table full of cheers. If anybody has reason to be merry on this day it is the Japanese.
 

2. 1월 2일

1
2nd. (7th). Wednesday. A beautiful day. cold evening.
 
2
This morning, Dr. Allen said to me "You made a mistake in addressing your resignation to the Faculty of the A.C.C. The Faculty has nothing to do with your case. It was I who made the arrangement with you. Mr. Bonnell kicks up a racket for not having been shown your resignation. But he, as one of the faculty, has nothing to do with it. You tell him that it was your mistake that addressed the resignation to the faculty." The Doctor's voice showed that he was not in his best mood. His feelings seemed intense about the case.
3
It is six and a half-dozen to me whether I addressed my resignation to the faculty or to the president. But I do not see how professor Bonnell could work under such a president.
4
Wasted the p.m. from 1 to 5 in fooling with old stamps in a Nankin Road Store. Saw two Corean stamps there 40¢ apiece. My dear Sister's sister told me this afternoon that the Chinese characters on the Shanghai Jubilee stamp were written by my sister. I was glad to hear that.
5
Mr. L. preached an earnest sermon on the text―"Looking unto Jesus." At 7:15, received a letter from Mrs. Campbell of Soochow. She informed me that at 9:30 p.m., on the 31st December '94 my precious Darling gave birth to a girl; that the dear "Mother" suffered comparatively little; and that she was doing very well. Thanks be to God for my Darling's safe delivery.
6
Called on Miss Richardson and showed her Mrs. Campbell's letter. Miss R. was delighted to receive the news.
7
Laura Yun, born at 9:30 p.m. December 31st, 1894 in Soochow. (尹愛芳生于蘇州對門閣天賜庄甲午十二月初五夜九點半鍾)
 

3. 1월 3일

1
3rd. (8th). Thursday. Windy and cold.
 
2
Received a letter from Mr. Nagami, giving me many an important news concerning the newly organized government of Corea. Minister Inouye's suggestions:
3
1. The unification and centralization of authority.
4
2. The King has the right or deciding all political affairs. He is, however, under the obligation of keeping the laws of the country.
5
3. The separation of the interests of the royal family from the politics of the country.
6
4. The definition of the royal family.
7
5. The limitation of the power, and the definition of the functions, of different departments.
8
6. The unification of the finances of the country. The abolition of the so called voluntary contributions.
9
7. The estimation of the expenses of different departments and of the royal family.
10
8. The reorganization of the army.
11
9. The abandonment of all sorts of "White washing" and bragging.
12
10. The organization of the law department.
13
11. The unification of the police system.
14
12. The strict enforcement of the official regulations.
15
13. The limitation of the power of local officers.
16
14. A uniform civil service system.
17
15. The abandonment of the principle and practice of retaliation in politics.
18
16. The needlessness of the Department of Public Works at present
19
17. The reorganization of the Grand Council (軍國機務所) .
20
18. The employment of expert advisers.
21
19. The sending of students to Japan.
22
20. The determination of a national policy.
 
23
The false and wicked old Tai Won Kun has been shelved on account of the treacherous and slavish communications he sent to the Chinese generals at Pyongyang.
24
Took supper at Dr. Allen's. Spent a pleasant evening with the Doctor, his wife, Mrs L. and Miss Mary. This is Dr. Allen's birthday.
25
It is a delicate and painful situation to stand between two parties at odds with each other. When I was in this fix between Mr. Kim and Mr. Pak, I had not the least idea that I would ever be called to face the same question between Dr. Allen and Professor Bonnell. To these two men I feel equally indebted. Our Lord's injunction to be wise as the serpent and harmless as the dove comes to me with greater force than ever under my present situation. One of the best things one can do under such circumstances is to say absolutely nothing of one of the parties to the other.
 

4. 1월 4일

1
4th. (9th). Friday. Very cold.
 
2
At 6 p.m. called on Mr. Richard. In course of conversation, this good and sensible man of God said: "I remember having read of a great Englishman who had five rules to guide him. One of them was in substance, "Never attack directly any deep seated superstition of the people." I am sure we missionaries would accomplish more than we do if we heeded this rule. Do everything in your power to enlighten the people; but let them not feel or suspect that you are against their fond objects of love or reverance, however foolish these objects may be. You are returning to your country more powerful than your King. You have in your head and heart the greatest forces that have worked and are working for the elevation of the race. You are going with the prayer of every missionary in Shanghai."
 
3
From Mr. R. I learned the following facts:―
4
1. The Peking Gazette is the oldest newspaper in the world.
5
2. It publishes all imperial edicts and certain class of memorials. Copies of it go to every yamen in the empire. It is printed on movable wooden types. Jesuits once introduced copper types. But the cupidity of officers who stole the blocks has rendered the use of any metalic types too expensive.
6
3. Of the three native papers in Shanghai two, 申報 and 邑報 are run by foreign committees and foreign capital. The Shin Wan Pau has a foreign manager with the native capital. They are all money making schemes. The enlightenment of the people is their secondary object. There is no paper in China now that is native pure and simple, except the Peking Gazette. A native dares not run a paper for fear of the official seizure on the slightest provocation.
 

5. 1월 5일

1
5th. (10th). Saturday. A cold but bright day.
 
2
From 4 to 8 p.m. had a delightful time with dear Sister at her home. This is her birthday.
 

6. 1월 6일

1
6th. (11th). Sunday. Had an intensely cold night, but beautiful day.
 
2
Took tiffin at Dr. Allen's. At 4 p.m. went to the Trinity Church to partake of the Supper. After which had a pleasant hour with the ladies of the Trinity Home and Mr. Collyer who happened to be in the company. At 5:30 called on Miss Richardson and had a nice evening in her study. Some things she said:―
3
"As much as I appreciate the necessity of educating non-Christian peoples, I am heartily opposed to sending an Oriental home to be educated. There have been instances upon instances of young men, educated at the expenses of the Church, who proved rascals and ingrates. Even those who do stay in their respective missions as workers ask for better salaries than other natives. They are out of touch with the natives and disaffected toward foreigners. I wonder how our native preachers think toward Mr. Marshall who gets so much more than they. Look at Mr. Soon. I hope his influence is for good. Yet he is not doing what he was educated to do."
4
Though I am an Oriental educated at "Home," I feel sure that Miss R. is too polite to have included me in the list of ingrates or strikers. One thing is clear in my case, that is, I have never asked for anything in the way of pay that the authorities of the A.C.C. did not voluntarily give. Nay, I would have worked for the College or for the Mission, as long as I stayed in Shanghai, for any pay or no pay.
5
Concerning the constant friction between the missionary and the native helper in regard to the latter's salary, the only solution lies in self-support. Why? Simply because the discontent on the part of the native preacher is not chiefly due to his meagre pay but to the comparison he is forced to make between his way of living and that of his missionary brother. Mr. L. once told me that he has to pay $35 or more to the servants alone per month. Yet at $8 a month, this amount would support or employ four native helpers. Now, mind you, the native preacher must feed and clothe himself not only but also his wife and children.
6
If a missionary has to entertain friends etc., the native preacher―has he no friends now and then to drink tea with? It is all very well and necessary that a missionary should get his pay on the basis of reasonable comfort. Why is a native preacher along to be paid on the basis of conscience?
7
Yet no mission can, and ought to, pay so much as to make the native ministry a marker for unholy speculations. Then what is to be done? Let each native church support its own pastor, as soon as possible. Any man who enters the Ministry from honest motives would be contented with $8 from a self-supporting church more easily than with $16 from the missionary.
 
8
The charges against an Oriental educated at "home" are:
9
1. He bites the hand that fed him. Instances of this sort have been found in Japan, China, India and other mission fields. No words could be too strong to condemn the meanness of a young man who uses the power of education acquired at the cost of a mission, against his benefactors. Yet ingrates of this type is comparatively very rare. Further, the good one Neesima does outweighs the evil done by ten turncoats.
10
2. A foreign educated Oriental demands a higher pay. I believe that a youth who voluntarily joins a Mission on the condition that he would use the educational advantages it may give him for its interests, should never, no, never quarrel about his salary be it as small as you please. Yet, is it fair for the Mission to pay him educated as little as it pays those uneducated? It is true that he was no better than they before the education. It may be true that he could never have the education but through the grace of the Mission. It is true that the Mission is the best judge as to what to do with their money. While all this is so, it is yet a matter of plain sense that a man with educated capacities, no matter how he came by them, should be remunerated not according to what he was but to what he is. The price of a keen razor should be and is, the world over, estimated on its present quality and not on its value when it was in the "uneducated" state of a piece of common iron.
11
3. Denationalization. An Oriental spoiled by a foreign education is worse than a spoiled egg. Because he was educated in an American or a European institution, he somehow thinks that all the honors of America or of Europe belong to him. He affects the air and moods and tone of an Occidental wag; He disgusts everybody who has any sense (therefore himself excepted) with the everlasting stories of his exploits and triumphs in London or Boston or Berlin. He despises everything native not that it is essentially bad but that it is not foreign. The Japanese call such a personage a "Namaiki" or "raw air." For a man or woman of this type I have the profoundest contempt. But sometimes the reproach of denationalization is flung at a foreign educated Oriental simply because he loves certain things and ways foreign in preference to the native. You are denationalized if you do not eat certain articles of the native food. Why are not you contented with a poor pay? Because you are denationalized! It is a dreadful thing that you are so denationalized that you do not want to live in any house, however squalid it may be.
 
12
The conclusion of the whole matter is this: It does not pay either the Mission or the Oriental to give or receive a "home" education, unless he is determined to serve the Master in the Mission, pay or no pay.
 

7. 1월 11일

1
11th. (16th). Friday. A cloudy and very cold day.
 
2
The north wind which has been blowing these many days renders my stove useless.
3
Spent a few pleasant hours at Sister's home. Oh, I do love that girl! My Darling confides in Sister what she does not in me.
4
At 5 p.m. called on Mrs. Yen-to tell her that I did not want to rent her house, as Sieutsung has decided to stay with her parents during my absence. Mrs. Yen speaks English very nicely. She told me that the houses in the settlement are in high demand on account of the influx of well to do folks from the North. Was introduced to her second son. If I have ever seen a Chinaman spoiled by foreign education, it was he. When I told him that I had only been in the Southern States, he, with an ill disguised contempt said, "You ought to have seen New York. There is no large cities in the South." With this he placed himself in a comfortable chair facing the fire, with his feet in a dandy pair of slippers and a cigarette in his mouth. His mother who tried her best to entertain me, thinking that I did not understand the Shanghai dialect said to the "hopeful" young man, "Why do you sit there like a dumb? You can talk so much better than I. You ought to entertain the visitor." To this he said nothing. No doubt he despised and pitied me for having never seen England and New York. But I despised him and pitied his good mother for his having been to London and New York.
5
Had a nice evening with Mr. Richard. He said, "Let your national cry be Progress and Philanthropy. I don't like the national spirit of China which wants to learn the good things of the Christian civilization not because they are good but because they may enable China to revenge herself on Foreign powers." After a considerable hesitation, Mr. R. asked me to share with me his Chinese supper. The meal consisted of rice, and a bowl of fish and cabbage cooked the Chinese style. He drank a little 紹興酒 warmed in a tincan. I enjoyed this simple fare with him infinitely more than I would have a table of delicacies with uncongenial company.
 

8. 1월 12일

1
12th. (17th). A very cold day―a pale sunshine now and then.
 
2
Called on Mr. Miyake (三宅延三郞) . In the course of conversation he asked "Do you think that China would have converted Corea into a province, and the War did not break out?"
3
"Well, yes and no. That is, it is not likely that China would have gone so far, not because there was anything in her dark and crooked policy or in the utter defenceless condition of Corea to prevent such a measure, but because Japan and other powers would not have tolerated it. Besides, why should China offend anybody by formally annexing the peninsula when all the advantages of annexation could be secured without offending anybody? By lending small amounts of money to the beggared government on substantial securities such as the customs, telegraph etc. China was slowly but steadily tightening her loathsome coil around the charmed and doomed Corea. In course of a few years Corea would have become, to all practical purposes, a Chinese province with the King and his government as an ostentatious nothing. The war broke up the Chinese plan."
4
"Are you then perfectly sure that Japan is not doing now exactly what China tried to do? Have you heard the news that the Corean government has decided to borrow from Japan 5,000,000 Yen, on the tributary rice of the three southern provinces of Corea?
5
"I am perfectly sure that Japan will help Corea as long as there is any hope for its regeneration. Whether Japan's interference will prove a blessing or a curse to Corea the question depends chiefly on the wisdom and patriotism or the folly and selfishness of the Corean government. Coreahas now a fine opportunity for improving her condition. If the government and the people are so low down in spirit and ability that they fail to make the most of the changed situation, what is the use of keeping the country in such hands?"
6
Attended the Mr. F. Home prayer meeting. After which had a long chat with Miss Helen R.
 

9. 1월 13일

1
13th. (18th). Sunday.
 
2
Was very cold last night. The water in the washbowl frozen nearly to the bottom―over an inch.
3
At the close of the S.S. Professor B. gave a farewell talk to the school. He was much moved. He goes away, but his good influence and example shall remain with the young men who have, during the ten years past, come under his instruction. I wish it were in my power to show him some substantial token of my love in this time of his deed!
4
Had a nap between 4 and 6 p.m. Led the evening service in Chinese.
5
Took supper at Dr. Allen's. Whenever I see the kind and motherly face of Mrs. Allen, I feel like telling her all any troubles etc. As I sat with the Doctor and his family by a cheerful fire talking about my returning, I could hardly realize that ten years has come and gone since the January morning, when Mr. L. asked me if I had studied grammar. Dr. Allen highly praised my article on the "Conversation with a Corea", which the News did not accept.
 

10. 1월 14일

1
14th. (19th). Monday. A cold and cloudy day.
 
2
This morning, Professor Bonnell showed me a letter which Mr. Furguson of the Nankin University has written him offering him a position in that institution. I do hope that Professor Bonnell may find the offer a success.
3
Late in the p.m. Mr. Miyake called on me. He advised me not to take any office lower than that of Mr. Yu Kil Chun. He, for the first time, told me that he had been sent to Corea before he came to China, by Mr. K.O.Q. and that Mr. K. though paid his passage to Corea, had no money to keep him there as a confidential correspondent.
4
Two of the boys whom I have taught during the term, gave me three baskets of bananas and organges. I appreciate the gift very much. Took supper at Sister's home. Mr. Peter Zung, her stepfather, was at home. He is a very pleasant man.
 

11. 1월 15일

1
15th. (20th). Tuesday. A comparatively pleasant day. Sunshine.
 
2
At 11 a.m. all the school, teachers and scholars, gathered in the Chapel for the closing exercises of the term. Dr. Allen made a short address on the importance of education in the foreign sense of the term. Then prizes, in money, ranging from7 to1 were given to the deserving ones in different classes. By the way, this prize system was introduced by Professor Bonnell. Dr. Allen and Mr. L. say that they will have none of it after this term. I should think they ought to keep it up for the encouragement of the boys.
3
Saw Sister twice. My daily visit to her for the past week has been a source of much refreshment and joy. Whenever I go to see this sweet girl, I can not walk fast enough.
 

12. 1월 17일

1
17th. (22nd). Thursday. Boisterous winds―very cold.
 
2
After a day or two of impatient and anxious waiting, my most precious Darling arrived at the McT. home about 12 a.m. No sooner did the glad message reach me than I made for the Home as fast as a "rickshaw" could run. My Darling was waiting for me in Mrs. Gather's study. When I went into the room, the precious creature threw herself into my arms. Her pale face, exceedingly sweet and appealing looks, exquisite smiles almost unmanned me. I felt like backing out from my Corean plans. Oh, God, forgive my sins, and deal tenderly with my precious wife and baby!
3
At 2 p.m. returned to my room with my Darling and the baby. The room was wretchedly cold as the north wind absolutely made it impossible to use the stove. As I sat in this uncomfortable room while the wintery winds howled fiercely outside―as I looked at the sweet, loving and tired face of the woman whom I love better than myself―as I thought of the inconveniences and pain and cares to which she has been put on my account―as I meditated on the uncertainties and risks I am about to run―as I contemplated the loneliness and discomfort which my Darling might experience during my absence the duration of which nobody could foretell―as I sat silently wrapped in these thoughts, forced on me against my will, I realized that one never knows the full meaning of the "poetry" of love until he has found out what the prose of life is. I am willing to go cold and hungry to make my precious Darling warm and comfortable.
4
Received a cheering letter from Miss Haygood. God bless that noble woman!
 

13. 1월 18일

1
18th. (23rd). Friday. Bright-windy-bitterly cold-the ground frozen all day long.
 
2
Received a letter from Nagami informing me that he had received60 by post office order for me from my cousin in Tokio.
3
Our darling Sister spent the day with my Jewel. It makes my heart ache to tear myself away from these two girls, my wife and sister! Oh God be gentle to my Darling Sieutsung and E-fong!
4
Called on Miss H.R. and put50 and deposit―receipt in her charge.
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