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◈ 윤치호일기 (1895년) ◈
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1. 2월 9일

2
9th. (15th of 1st Moon, Ulmee Year). Saturday. A beautiful day.
 
3
Nagasaki, Velox.
4
There is an end even to waiting. Have at last found a steamer, Velox, bound for Chemulpo. At 1:30 p.m. bade farewell to the hospitable members of M.N.'s family. His first sister gave me a very pretty money bag which she herself had made of bits of silk of various colors. She accompanied the gift with as hearty a handshaking (only of the wrong hand) as I ever had from anybody. M.N. and Mr. Konto accompanied me to the steamer.
5
Just ten years ago about 2 a.m., I left Nagasaki for Shanghai. The night was cool and the moon shone pale. The silence of the midnight was broken only by the melancholy strokes of the oar. Friendless and driven from home and those dear to me I felt sad. I wept. Today I am returning with the shades and lights of ten years interwoven in my very fibres. I have now friends in China, America and Japan watching my course with loving solicitudes. They have been friends in needs and deserve my sincere and lasting gratitude. Thank God for His good providence.
6
The Velox, a very poor affair never designed for passengers, weighed anchor at 6:30 p.m.
7
The dialect of Shanghai has a charm that no other tongue possesses for me: it is the language of my Love.
 
 

2. 2월 12일

9
12th. (18th). Tuesday. A beautiful day. Chemulpo, Corea
 
10
The ship arrived at Chemulpo at 11 last night; but it was too cold and dark to venture for the shore. At 9 this a.m. came on shore.
11
My native land once more, after 10 years of absence. And on such a beautiful day! Surely I should and would be happy now and here, if I could be so anywhere and anywhen. But, alas! I have seldom been as sad as I am now. The Corean coolies with white and clumsy clothes black with dirt, the native hovels rising no higher than the ground they encumber and compared to which the Chinese huts of the dirtiest sort are palaces, the horrible smell from the accumulated filth all around, the abject poverty, ignorance, stupidity of the people, the naked and unattractive hills sadly emblematic of the defenceless state of Corea-this sight is enough to make any patriotic Corean sick. I can't smile except the smile of despair. Welcome, ten times welcome, to anybody, Christian or pagan, who may do something for the amelioration of the condition of Corea. He shall have my help and prayer. The Catholic and the Church of England Missions have neat houses. God be with them!
12
Called on Mr. Townsend. Found him as hearty an American as I had left him ten years ago. Took tiffin at his home. He told me that the few potatoes which were served on the table were the last of the kind to be had in Chemulpo. It is marvelous how an American or a European could bear to live in a country like this. Learned that the famous correspondent of the N.C.D.N. is a Church of England's missionary!
13
The only bright thing in Chemulpo is the Japanese women and children. Wrote to my Darling, Mrs. Allen, Professor Bonnell and Miss H.R.
14
The best hotel (?) room in Chemulpo, therefore in all Corea, has three covers―of paper, of dust and of mats. It is full of odor of the vilest kind. Its furniture is a ill-smelling urine pot, a dirty brass or wooden pan for tobacco ashes, 6 or more blocks of wood of the ugliest shape for pillows.
15
Through the introduction of Mr. Townsend, met Kim Kio Sam, a Catholic Corean who was once a servant to Dr. H.N. Allen. He is certainly a best Corean to be found. He enjoys and deserves too, the entire confidence of Dr. Allen and Mr. T.
 
 

3. 2월 13일

17
13th. (19th). Wednesday. Form Chemulpo to Seoul
 
18
Slept last night with a 前田樣 in Kobeya. Up at 6:30. At 9 a.m. in a zinricsha, left Chemulpo for Seoul. A lovely day. Had to walk most of the way, partly because the road was very bad, and partly because one of the coolies, being a Corean, proved as usual a regular no-account. Near the river a servant met me. Reached my Seoul home at 4 a.m. Thank God, I found my dear mother well, not so old as I had feared. For joy, we couldn't say a word for several minutes, only pressure of hands speaking volumes of unutterable love on both sides. Father has gone to the country home.
19
Mother told me part of the stories of the trials of the exile and of the cruel treatment to which my father was subjected last year. I begged her to stop as I could not bear to hear the harrowing accounts.
20
At 7 p.m. called on Dr. H.N. Allen, the Secretary of the U.S. Legation. He extended a cordial welcome to me. So did Rev. Underwood and wife. He informed me, as an instance of the unscrupulous cupidity of the former officials, that when the government hospital was first started under the charge of the Presbyterian Mission, the King promised to pay5,000 per annum. The money, however, never reached the institution, though His Majesty kept his word. Whenever the U.S. Minister presented the case to the King the interpreters, fearing the vengeance of the guilty officials, dared not tell the truth. Rev. Underwood also told me of the plot 袁世凱 had once laid to depose the King in the interest of Tai Won Kun's grandson. The plot was discovered by Min Y. Ik, who divulged it to His Majesty and the then U.S. Minister.
21
Called on Mr. S.K.P. He received me heartily and in a few words told me the present condition of the government. The ministry, he said, is divided between Tai Won Kunites and Royalists. To the former belong 魚度支, 金外務, 金總理. Messrs S.K.P. and P.Y.H. lead the Royalist party. Mr. Soh informed me that Tai Won Kun is devoting his energy to the maturation of a plot against the Liberals, or Royalists, and that Mr. Yu Kil Chun is a Tai Won Kunite.
22
Mr. P.Y.H. was not so open and kind to me as I had expected. He mumbled something about appointing me to 學務參議. He wants to grasp everything in the government, but I must be a 參議, a mere figure, and nothing more! Is this the way men are used according to his ascent and not to his descent? I care not for office except so far as it may enable me to do good. But what good can I do in that position?
23
From what I have heard this afternoon, I see that things are not going well at all. The only joy I have here is to be with my dear mother.
 
 

4. 2월 14일

25
14th. (20th). Thursday. A lovely day. Seoul
 
26
Stayed in bed until 12 a.m. Dear mother manifested her love in every word, every look, every touch. She told me of the family trouble and annoyance which have been caused by Father's concubine, of the unfaithfulness of 李春植 and of Mr. 李秉輝; of the personal loyalty and constance of Mr. 金鼎禹, who has stayed with my Father through shadow and sunshine and who with tears prayed the cruel Tong Hak's to kill him rather than to injure Father. She also asked me not to talk about Christianity in public. I explained to her that common gratitude alone, if there were no higher consideration, should constrain me to remain faithful to Christianity and Christian (Missionaries) , that have made me whatever I am.
27
At 11 a.m. Mr. Yu Kil Chun, the Secretary of the Cabinet, called on me. He told me how hard and yet how vainly he has tried to keep the Old and New parties from falling out with each other. He intimated that the Prime Minister, Mr. K.H.C. is anxious to make me his private Secretary.
28
At 1 p.m. called on Count Inouye, As expected, he was very haughty. After having found out what I have done during my absence from home, he abruptly said to me in the presence of Mr P.Y.H. and S.K.P., "Do not you be influenced by the discontented grumblings of your father. An old man's views."―Here his voice shaded into some inaudible murmurs. Wasn't he little? Noticing that Messrs P and S and Kim Ka Chin came there for some state affairs, I left the seat sick with shame and sorrow―shame that the King and the government are practically puppets in the hand of the Japanese Minister and sorrow that even this shame and danger fail unify the ministers for the good of the nation.
29
Called on Dr. H.N. Allen and unbosomed myself to him. He most intelligently sympathized with me. He told me that a 參議 or a private secretary is not good enough for me, that Mr. P. has shown hardheadedness more than sense; that he was sent to Chemulpo last summer on account of his rash attempt to coerce His Majesty with 500 Japanese soldiers; that he (Mr. P.) does not like the American Legation as his plot was defeated by the interference of the U.S. Minister; and that Mr. P. has done many a foolish thing in the name of reform. Dr. Allen also spoke of Mr. Yu Kil Chun's changed attitude. "I have heard many charges against him and so far he has not done anything to clear my mind of them. Some time ago I had a dinner with him and was struck with his ingratitude toward the U.S. Legation, which has stood a firm friend to him always. I wish I could go to some place where I might be shut out entirely from any communication with Corea, even through newspapers. I have been here 10 years looking for some improvement, When the present ministry was formed, I felt much pleased, and I wrote to Townsend concerning it. His answer was, the question is, will they (the new Ministry) hang together. If not, they will hang separately.
30
Called on Reverends Appenzeller and Hulbert. The latter looks very jolly and businesslike.
31
Rumors are rampant to the effect that Tai Won Kun has distributed over 100 assassins in Seoul and Chemulpo for the destruction of Liberals. The whole nation is in suspense. Everybody seems to look for something dreadful; but nobody knows what. Fear, doubt, suspicion are eating up the whole country.
32
Called on Mr. Kim Hong Chip, the Premier. He showed me much consideration and asked me to help him out as his private Secretary. I told him that I did not want any office yet.
 
 

5. 2월 15일

34
15th. (21st). Friday. Seoul. Rained all the a.m. and snowed in the p.m.
 
35
Very cold. Fixed up my room. When shall I be able to sit down in a home with my dear parents and my precious Darling and other loved ones feeling that we are settled for good in the safe enjoyment of love and peace!
 
 

6. 2월 16일

37
16th. (22nd). Saturday. A bitterly cold but pretty day.
 
38
Felt honored to be called on by Mr. J.M.B. Sill, the U.S. Minister and Dr. Allen.
39
At 5 p.m. called on Mr. Cho (趙義淵) , the Minister of the War Department. He is the man who gave me15 in Shanghai years ago, when every Corean shunned me like a wild beast. Most cordial was his welcome this afternoon. From his frank conversation I learned that:―
40
1. Tai Won Kun, mortified and enraged at his failures to upset the present government through the help of Tong Haks and the Chinese, is busy in concocting other infernal plots for his purpose.
41
2. It has been and is the practice of Her Majesty―to set Ministers one against another by the skillful use of intrigues. Her weapon is slander. By this means she makes every one devoted to her interest but antagonistic to his colleagues. Her selfish ends are thus promoted at the total expense of the welfare of the kingdom. She has succeeded in persuading Mr. P. to believe certain personages (as Messrs Kim Hong Chip, Wo Yun Chung, Kim Yun Sic, etc.) are plotting against her and the "New party". That she may promote one of her men to the office of the Inspector of Police, she, by some underhanded means, made it necessary for my father to resign, without the least fault on his part.
42
3. Mr. Kim Ka Chin has been very active in misrepresenting the so-called Old party to Count Inouye.
43
4. Mr. P. has frustrated the expectations of everybody by his narrow-mindedness, hardheadedness, and unrestrained ambition. He is entirely in the hand of Her Majesty.
44
5. Count Inouye, in a conversation yesterday, told Mr. Cho and his colleagues everything Mr. Kim Ka Chin had said to him against them.
 
45
Putting these facts together the matter stands thus:
46
Everybody runs after self-interest. Tai Won Kun wants to kill any and all who do go his crooked way. The Queen desires to grasp the power no matter how foul may be the means she uses for the end. Mr. Pak wishes to be a dictator without the strong qualities that go to make a dictator. The only man who improves the situation for his own personal and national interest is Count Inouye. He acts the proverbial fisher in the proverbial fight between a crane and a shell. The politics of Corea are as filthy as its habitations. Shame! Shame! Shame!
47
One of the characteristics of the Coreans is to get the least use out of the greatest expenditure of materials. With all the clumsy dimensions of their clothes they have not got a pocket to keep things in. The houses of the well to do are as extensive as the "Wild West" of America. Yet for utility I would prefer an American cottage of ordinary size to one of the big houses in Seoul. My houses is full of servants, male and female, but all that they do and much more could be done and done better by a single Japanese or a foreign servant. The government departments are crowded with "Officers" who clog the State machinery to death. The scholar spends or wastes his energy and time from 8 to 80 with volumes of books that make him a greater goose for his learning, falsely so called.
48
At 11 went to the M.E. School chapel to attend the morning worship. A Corean preached on the ten virgins. His illustrations were too windy. Yet it made me feel good to be among the followers of our common Savior in my own country.
49
Took tiffin with Rev. Appenzeller. He has a lovely wife and sweet children. Spent an hour or more with Dr. H.N. Allen. He informed me that the Japanese once proposed to abolish the Corean legationat Washington. But the proposal came to nought by the interference of the U.S. Minister. At 3 p.m. attended the foreign service at the Chapel.
50
At his request called on Mr. Kim H.C.the Prime Minister. He begged me to accept a position in the Cabinet to keep the parties (Old and New) in harmony.
51
Father returned from the country. Thank God for this reunion. Father and mother feel disappointed because my Darling did not give birth to a son. Am happy also to see my uncle.
 
 

7. 2월 18일

53
18th. (24th). Monday.
 
54
The snow and rain of the night past make it literally true that the whole town has become "snow mountains and ice seas."
55
At 11 a.m. called on Mr. P. and told him that I would like to get a position in the Educational Department. He suggested that I might be a Chamui 參議 first and then be promoted to Hiuppan 協辯. He readily endorsed my plan of visiting Japan, should I become a 參議 for the purpose of examining the educational system of Japan. He said that it was very unfair for Mr. 兪 to try to draw me into his party, and that the Prime Minister is under the influence of the former.
56
Wrote to Dr. Allen, and my precious Darling.
 
57
In a long family talk with Father and Uncle I learned that:
58
1. The Tong Haks, in persecuting my father, had no other reason or motive than to extort money. Their favorite pretext was that I had induced the Japanese to coerce His Majesty. My father had to flee to mountains, suffering terrible hardships from hunger and exposure.
59
2. Tong Hak or the "Oriental Religion" is a system by 崔 started years ago. It was so named to distinguish it from 北學 or the Northern religion or Confucianism 南學 or Southern Religion or Buddhism 西學 or Western Religion or Catholicism. Tong Hak has incorporated into it the five relations of Confucianism, the doctrine of pure heart from Buddhism, the miracles and charms of Taoism, and the term of God or Chun Chu from Catholicism. In the mode of propagation the Tong Haks, either knowingly or ignorantly adopted the Mohammedan practice of compulsion. A religious sect was driven by oppression and persecution into an open rebellion. Wherever they went, they showed the deepest hatred against Yangbans. The cruelty with which the Tong Haks treated Yangbans reminds one of the bloody handling to which the French nobility was subject during the Revolution.
60
3. My country home and family and village were protected from harm during the conflict between the Chinese and the Japanese and from the vengeance of Tong Haks, by the wisdom and popularity of my uncle.
61
4. The Chinese at Asan and its vicinity behaved them selves most barbarously, their occupation being murder, plunder, and rape.
 
 

8. 2월 19일

63
19th. (25th). Tuesday. Bitterly cold. Snowed thick and fast all the p.m.
 
64
Called on Count Inouye in the a.m. He urged me to take a position in the Cabinet as no work, educational or other wise, could be thought of without money and as money could not forth coming until the central government be strong and properly organized. He said that suspicion is the greatest curse in the government.
 
 

9. 2월 22일

66
22nd. (28th). Friday.
 
67
Very cold―so cold that I could not expose my hands even for a minute without their becoming numb.
68
At 10 a.m. called on Mr. Kim Ka Chin. He told me that the Old Party led by Mr. Yu K.C. became so arbitrary and partial that the New Party men concluded to resign.
69
But through the intervention of Count Inouye the parties have resolved once more to live in peace(?) . They were to have a banquet this morning to cement more firmly the new or the re-newed friendship between the parties.
70
1. In a family talk after the supper, my father and uncle gave me a round lecture on the importance of skillful "haingsei" or working oneself into the world. They opened on me double fires for my impracticable notions that may make me useless in the Corean society. Their remarks are full of shrewd maxims of the type of the proverbs of Ben Franklin. My father is no doubt a most remarkable men. His keen observation, strong will and wonderful sagacity would have made him a person felt in any community.
71
2. To illustrate my father's power of observation, He said to me the other day, "Behind the house in which I spent the years of exile in Nung-Chu, there is a hill. On it there are remains of a wall including an area not much smaller than that of Seoul. The natives of the place have no idea of the antiquity of the wall. Some say that it was built by the Japanese during their invasion, while others affirm that the place was once a fortified city during the Dynasty of Wang, or Corio. I found among the rocks a great many fragments of tiles of earthen and porcelain vessels. These pieces are of different degrees of fineness. There was no means to ascertain the age of any of the remains. But my opinion is that the fortification came into existence long before the foundation of the present dynasty as a place of refuge from marauders of some kind. Should peace be restored, the inhabitants would again settle on the plain. In course of time this change of habitation would naturally change the style of the utensils the people of different ages used."
72
3. Hopelessness is written in unmistakable letters over everything Corean―the government, the people, the tottering houses, the naked mountains.
73
4. According to my uncle, the outrages of which Tong Haks have been guilty were first inaugurated by Suh Haks or Catholics. Backed by foreign priests Catholics in Chung Cheungto indulged in many an act of oppression and violence years before Tong Haks rose.
 
74
Mr. 禹範善 called on me this afternoon. He said that Mr. Yu 兪 is a rascal-partial, ambitious, selfish, jealous and proud.
75
Am just crazy to see my precious Darling and Sister.
 
 

10. 2월 23일

77
23rd. (29th). Saturday. Snowed most of the day. Not very cold.
 
78
The biggest they have had here for years, they say.― Over six inches.
79
In the p.m. Mr. Yi Chung Eng 李重應, a Chamui of the Foreign Office, called on father and myself.
 
80
Wandering thoughts, etc.
81
1. This morning I told my father that six characters―禮儀之邦 and 行世 have ruined China and Corea. He agreed with me and told me the following story:―
82
Last July when the Japanese Minister, Otori, first urged His Majesty and his government to reform, they were indifferent enough. The Chinese were here ready with their support. There were all of the Corean generals with their soldiers. The government had nothing to fear from the Japs. One morning, however, His Majesty called the council of his Ministers and told them that ought to take measures for a sure enough reformation. All the ministers stood looking at each other not knowing what to say. An aged minister 鄭, by name forward and said "Oh King, I know not what reformation or civilization means. But I know one thing that neither I nor any of your servants here is able to obey Your Majesty's command." In common with others, the King was so startled by the bold answer that he could not help asking the minister the reason of his statement. To which the Old man replied thus:―
83
"Your servant is now 70 years old. When I was 6 years old the first thing I was taught was that, in order to get riches and honor, I must curry favor with the Seito, or 勢道. No sooner did I reach the age of 14 or 15 than I began to frequent the house of the influential. About ten years later, the centre of power and money was shifted to 處分, or the Royal Command. Glory and gain were then attainable only through this Cheubun. This state of things has continued up to this date. I grew in the period of Seito and have become old in that of Cheubun. From my childhood to this I have seen no other means of rising in the world than that of seeking the powerful. Talents and virtue never make the least difference in the rise or fall of a man. Hence I have never cared to qualify myself for office with studies of any kind. What is true with me is true with all your Majesty's servants. Therefore any attempt now at reformation with those of us who have never learned a thing in our lives will meet continuous failure. The only hope of civilization is to teach children who, when they shall have reached maturity, may be able to reform the government and the people."
84
2. Knowing, as my father does, the poisonous and disastrous effects of 行世 upon the character of the individual and of the nation, knowing, as he does, that one in order to Haingsei, must part with honesty, righteousness, nobel aims and high purposes―knowing all this better than any other person in Corea, my father still insists on my going into it. I must throw away every principle of honor and of morality if I want to "Haingsei." Father himself says that honesty and sense of honor do not go well with Haingsei. The only thing that Haingsei hunts after is glory (?) and gain. No means is too mean or too wicked for the attainment of the end-office.
85
3. Philanthropy, self-denial, rectitude of motives, integrity of aim which I have learned to love during my absence of ten years amount to nothing in the estimation of my father. He thinks it is no use to learn anything that does not help one to "haingsei" well. He taxes me for not having learned practical things―such as grain-growing, etc. etc. I felt so lonesome that I cried like a baby in my bed. My own father does not understand me.
86
4. He wants to harness me gradually into the intolerable yoke of custom or Pungsok. He, no doubt, maintains and will enforce the absolutism of the parental authority. But I shall not go any farther in my obedience than reason and conscience allow.
87
5. Everybody in Corea is hunting after smart men or able men. But what Corea wants is not ability or smartness but patriotism and honesty. If everybody in the government directed to the welfare of the nation the energy and ability which he wastes on dirty and infernal intrigues, the Reformation would be carried forward to successful issue.
88
6. Mr. 徐光範 told my uncle that he would not believe his father even, unless he had been to America for ten years. Mendacity is so fashionable that it is impossible to know who is honest.
89
7. It is safe to say that at least 7/10 of the population of Seoul live on parasitism. Every house that has any political warmth at all is crowded with idlers who do nothing in the world but talk and smoke and sleep and eat. The worst part of this miserable social system is that those whom you feed and clothe in time of peace, leave you quickest and slander you hardest in time of adversity.
90
8. It is enough to make any sensible man to blush with unutterable shame and mortification to bear the haughty dictation of a Japanese minister in the management of the government. Yet the office seeking Coreans have been so used to slavery as to be perfectly willing to bootlick anybody, a Jap or a pigtail, just so they be let oppress and squeeze their unfortunate inferiors. The rottenness of the Corean society, collectively and individually, is simply sickening.
 
 

11. 2월 27일

92
27th. (3rd). Wednesday. A lovely day.
 
93
1. The braves who were sent to fight the Tong Haks or rather to flay the innocent people, are returning group by group. When a market man see some of these braves he asks "How have you succeeded (in money) this time?" The usual reply is "Yes, I have made something," or "I did not get anything." This sounds like the talk of a man who went somewhere for trade. The fact is the Corean soldiers are nothing but legalized robbers and murderers.
94
2. The internal cruelties in which the false Tai Won Kun indulges and delights are beyond imagination. The assassins who killed Kim Hak Oo were caught the other day. They were hired by the old wretch to do away with Messrs P., S., Kim Hong Chip, Kim Ka Chin and others besides the unfortunate K.H.D.
95
3. My father disapproves the abolition of slavery and of caste distinctions before other social ties have been devised to hold different clases in order.
 
96
My father was promoted to 蔚山兵使 and I to a Chamui of the Cabinet (政府參議) .
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