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3
Rested in the bed all day. Got up at 5 p.m. very weak.
5
2nd. Monday. A lovely spring day. Strong wind late p.m. Rain-midnight.
6
Felt utterly cheerless and weary all day long. From 4 p.m. went down town for recreation.
7
Talked with Yoshioka about my subjectivism-love of solitary musing and aversion to company. What is it that makes me to shun company like a plague? What is it that keeps me often in melancholy and solitary meditations? What is it that often makes me feel thoroughly disconsolate? What is it that makes me exceedingly sensitive to the slightest sign of slight or contempt? It is this: the consciousness of my national disgrace and shame.
9
3rd. Tuesday. The day began with gloomy and windy aspect. Brightened with a cold but lovely day with biting wind.
12
4th. Wednesday. Bright and cold-biting cold.
13
Recit. usual. Felt ill all day.
15
5th. Thursday. Bright, windy and cold.
17
Received letters from Dr. Allen and Prof. B. The former told me that the College Y.M.C.A. of Emory, Oxford, has made provision for me and that I should go there when I get thro here. Prof. B. advised me to accept this Providential opportunity. Wonderous God, let thy goodness melt my stony heart!
19
6th. Friday. Bright and cold.
22
7th. Saturday. Mostly cloudy. Unpleasantly warm.
23
Recit. usual. From the Economics class came back to my room with chill, heavy and dull head, unutterable exhaustion and weariness. Went to bed. After about 2 hour's rest got up, feeling not much better.
25
8th. Sunday. Bright and pleasant.
26
Met Dr. Lambreth in the morning. He prescribed iron tonic and Emulson's Cod L. Oil for me. He said that I needed iron in my blood and that I was suffering from general debility. Attended W.E. S.S. and the morning service. Taught the Pen S.S class as usual.
27
Rained after dark. Went to bed early.
29
9th. (1st. 辛卯 正月) Monday. Rained most of the day and of the night.
30
Stayed away from morning recit. and gave the time to writing an article for Dr. Martin on Japanese manner of shopping.
32
10th. Tuesday. Rained early part of the a.m. Rest of the day clear and cold.
33
Stayed away from 2 recit. to finish the article.
35
11th. Wednesday. Sunny in the a.m. Cloudy most of the p.m.
38
12th. Thursday. Rained all the day and night.
41
13th. Friday. A fine day-windy.
43
At dinner. Walker complained of being disturbed by the "1," "2," "3," of the music learners. To Which M. said, "When some of these dog-on theologues sing their "1," "2," "3," in hell, it will make hell bad indeed." "I hope not," replied W., "the Bible promises some bad things, but nothing so bad as that."
44
M. is a professor of religion-a candidate, to the theological studies. W. is an outspoken and vehement anti-Christian. A remark like M.'s in a Christian's mouth is worse than W.'s on an infidel's tongue.
45
In the night attended W.H.M. meeting.
47
14th. Saturday. Cloudy most of the day.
49
Was told,-and I have reason to believe it-this morning that Vreeland, against whom I had neither said nor done nor thought anything, had said some hard things about me. I refused to hear what he had said for fear it might hurt my feelings. I am, however, uneasy about it. What have I done? What have I said?
51
15th. Sunday. Rained all the a.m. Gloomy and windy p.m.
52
Attended W.E. S.S. and the morning service.
53
This morning, Dr. Kirkland, in speaking about ministerial training in his S.S. class, said that he could not see why some intelligent Christians should oppose the education of ministers in theological seminaries: that he regretted that even young ministers themselves, while claiming to have a divine call for devoting their lives to the greatest interest of men, fail to improve their time and talents during their school years. "In my college," the Dr. said, "there were several preparing for the ministry. Most of them were proverbial, am sorry to say, for their mediocrity. In the class room, in the societies, even in religious matters they were unable to lead." A telling reproach on some of the Wesley Hallers.
54
Told Jacob about what I felt in regard to Vree's evil report of me. He said, "Let men say what they please about you; only let your work show who you are." I thankfully take Jacob's advice and resolve:-
55
1. That I shall not hunt after what V. or anybody else may have said against me;
56
2. That I shall not tell anybody about this matter except to bosom friends like Wilson, for instance.
58
16th. Monday. Gloomy very windy, unpleasantly warm.
60
Despirited and sad, fretful and lonely. Bed early.
62
17th. Tuesday. A beautiful day-windy.
64
From this day, by the help of Christ, I shall try not to fret and worry myself about things trifling or unavoidable. No doubt, I shall fail many a time. But nothing is like trying. God help me.
66
18th. Wednesday. Mostly windy, cloudy and cold.
68
Wrote to Dr. Candler thus:
69
"A week or so ago, I received a letter from Dr. Allen. He said, 'I received a letter from Dr. Candler, President of Emory, saying that you are already provided for there and you can come when you like.'
70
"That I appreciate your kindness and the generosity of your institution, I need not say. I shall show my gratitude by trying to improve the opportunities you thus offer; and to devote whatever knowledge those opportunities may give, to the cause of the Master."
71
Then closed the letter by asking his directions by which I may know when and how to proceed to my new sphere of work.
73
19th. Thursday. Fair and cold. Recit.
74
usual. Received a letter from Nagami.
76
20th. Friday. Windy. Rained hard in the evening and night.
77
Recit. usual. Spend most of the hours before the bed time in writing an article on Corea for Dr. Hoss.
79
21st. Saturday. Cloudy with short intervals of sunshine.
80
Recit. usual. Finished the article for Dr. H. In the evening, with Jordan called on Mrs. Hoss. To call on her basking in her genial smiles and listenng to her outspoken conversation, is a recreation to me. She is a woman of vigorous intellect, strong will, sound common sense, practical wisdom, great personal magnetism. She is not, however, of very spiritual or religious turn of mind.
81
After class meeting, Yoshioka came up and complained of the manifest indifferentism of most of the theologues and of the contempt in which "a theologue" is held by outsiders.
82
He said that he hadn't received any spiritual blessing since his abode in W.H. and that the professors ought to manifest more interest in the meetings and doings of the boys.
84
22nd. Sunday. Bright most of the day-cold.
85
Missed the W.E. S.S. Attended the morning worship in Christian Ch. Taught the Pen. S.S. class.
87
23rd. Monday. Windy, cloudy and cold. Cleared up late p.m.
88
Yesterday was the anniversary of Washington's birth. But that falling on Sunday, today is given as a holiday.
89
Wrote letters to Dr. Candler, whose answer to my last letter I received on Saturday; Dr. Allen, Prof, B., Nagami, McIntosh, and to Mrs. Lillias Underwood. Asked the last named lady to send me some tracts and hymns in Corean alphabet.
90
The literary societies had the anniversary orations. I could not go.
92
24th. Tuesday. Cloudy and boisterous wind southwest, day and night.
95
25th. Wednesday. Rained hard all the a.m. until 11. Wind continued.
98
26th. Thursday. Very cold-snowed in the morning. Biting wind in p.m.
101
27th. Friday. Very cold-bright.
103
This morning Dr. Martin made the following remarks to the Ch. H. class:
104
"If you want to be above the common run of humanity. you must think. Contented with superficiality, you will live unnoticed and die unlamented. Work! Be earnest! All your recitations in the class-rooms are not worth a row of pins. A child can do that. A parrot can repeat what others say. Think!
105
"America is great in material prosperity. In scholarship, in esthetic arts, America is poverty stricken. This is her shame."
106
Of course, these are not exactly his words. They, however, show that Dr. M. is a good teacher. Indeed he is one of the best teachers in the University. He is perfectly at home in what he instructs. He cares more for the essence than the words of a lesson. He never hesitates to reprove the boys for poor recitation. Better still, his talk is always stimulating and inspiring. He spurs one to thinking and careful study. In short, he knows how to teach, and teaches how to study.
107
Dr. Tillet is the reverse to Dr. M. as a teacher. You may study under Dr. T. a hundred yrs; you will not hear him say a word that will make you feel hungry for more knowledge and study. Dr. T.'s trouble is in his caring more for the number of pages that you get over, than for the meaning you get out of them. He seems to think it a sacrilege to grant a student's petition for shorter lessons. This want of sympathy and this mere mechanical recitation of tedious lessons make me tired of the book, of the teacher, of the whole business of systematic theology. Dr. T. is a good man. but a poor teacher.
109
28th. Saturday. Snowed and rained most of the morning. Cloudy and cold all the day.
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