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◈ 윤치호일기 (1903년) ◈

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해설목차  1권 2권  3권  윤치호

1. 1월 1일

1
1st.(3rd of 12th Moon). Thursday. Lovely-wind p.m.30 degrees at 4 p.m. Wonsan.
 
2
From 10 a.m. had to go through the tomfoolery of paying and receiving new year visits. A lovely day all through.
3
Aim high. He who aims at 90 degrees and falls short at 50 degrees is eight times short of his mark than he who aims at 45 degrees and stops at 40 degrees. Yet the first man is 10 degrees higher than the second, with the sense of humility thrown into the bargain, while the lowaimed man is filled with pride.
 

2. 1월 3일

1
3rd.(5th). Saturday. Lovely, windy, cold. 20 degrees 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. Wonsan.
 
2
In a series of Q's and Ans's between the Congressional Committee investigating the scheme of the Standard Oil Company and the Secretary of the Corporation, occurs the following:
3
"Q. What effect were these arrangements (a discriminating rebate on freight) to have upon those who did not come into the combination (the St. Oil Co) ?"
4
Ans. "I do not think we ever took that question up."
5
This naive answer reminds me of the cool way in which the meek Europeans both talk and plan the partition of the homes of other races among the white Powers. I wonder if they, the earth grabbers, ever take into consideration what effects their arrangements are to have upon those who happen to have no might to protect their right. One step further. When the world was created with the inexorable law that the weak are the meat of the strong, I wonder if the Great Being "took up" the question of the interests of the weak.
 

3. 1월 10일

1
10th.(12th). Saturday. (Lovely, windy. 16 degrees F at 9 a.m. and 20 degrees at 4 p.m. Wonsan.
 
2
The coldest day so far. Snow on the ground fully 12 inches deep. Out of the tedious rains into the monotonuous N.W. winds.
3
Have been confined to my room with a cold. An illegal tax collector, in the shape of a wretched ex-slave, for aught I know, has been stirring up my bile these four months past. He is an agent of that infernal machine―the Household Department. Armed with orders from that H.D.―better translated the Highwaymen's Den―this vile collector, a relative of a ground courtier (별입시) , has been pestering me to issue orders to my people to pay him taxes on salt, edible seaweeds and puk-uh or dry fish. I would not do it because the H.D, has no more right―though no less―than a highwayman to levy taxes on anything. I oppose the taxes because they are to be levied, not once or twice or thrice, but as many times as a bag of salt or a pack of the fish will change hands. I hate to collect anything legal or illegal for the H.D., because the money goes only to enrich some eunuch or a sorceress or an adviser.
4
"Whang-Sil-Bi" or Imperial Household Expenses, in whose name all sorts of robbery is committed, is the lean kine which is devouring everything in the land, forest, or seaweeds, sardine or whales, men or beasts, though she gets leaner every day, for all her eating.
5
In my rage and despair, all manner of blasphemous thoughts rise, only to be dismissed with painful efforts. Look at that map. A ditch separates this naturally beautiful and abused land from Japan. Yet the one is a paradise while the other is hell―a H.D.
 

4. 1월 15일

1
15th. Thursday. Mild, 36 degrees F.
 
2
I have been enjoying "Asia and Europe", by M. Townsend, a singularly fair and broad-minded writer on the subject. Some thoughts suggested by the book:
3
"Asiatic separateness" from a European. The author seems to think that this separateness, always insurmountable and inexplicable, often is due largely to the peculiar constitution of the Asiatic's mind. To me the whole thing presents no mystery. The separateness between an Asiatic and European is due to sensitiveness of the former and the superciliousness of the latter. The whiteman approaches us as inferiors not only but inferiors by predestination. Instinctively, silently but deeply, we resent this attitude. As a race, the brown and yellow man developed a high degree of civilization long before the whiteman was out of his jungles. If we have halted, and halted too long, in our progress, we are still capable of learning. It is only a question of time―and time is admittedly immaterial in Asia―that we shall again catch up with the white race and, who knows? we may surpass them once more.
4
Personally speaking, this "separateness" is as real to me as my existence. With all my unbounded admiration and even love for the white man; with all my more or less Americanized ideas and ideals; with all my anti-Japanese instinct and prejudices, I never feel in the company of European or an American friend―friend, mind you―that feeling of cameraderie which I enjoy in the society of a Japanese―say, Something―I know not what―keeps me from pouring my soul out to a whiteman; and I feel that he has, too, that something. That "something" may be composed of the following ingredients among other things.
 
5
1. Physical. We are slaves of senses, hence the striking differences in our physiognomies with distinguishing racial marks must operate strongly to suggest that we who are so different in colors and features can not have much in common.
6
2. Economical or modes of living. A Korean, for instance, has a different mode of living from that of an American or a Japanese. Yet a Korean and a Japanese―or even a Chinese for that matter―may swap their modes of living without being the worse for it. When rice or charcoal or turnip is dear, a Korean is as much affected as the Japanese, though to an American it is nothing. Butter, coal, milk, flour, sugar etc. may reach a fancy price to scare an American housekeeper without in the least disturbing the peace of a Korean. An American and a Korean can have no common ground for practical sympathy in this respect.
7
3. Social. A Japanese may marry a Korean and vice versa without losing her or his caste. The offspring of the union have no disqualifications, social or political. But between an American and a Korean, intermarriage is not even thought of.
8
4. Personal feelings. The hauteur of the American and the sensitiveness of the Korean are irreconcilable.
 
9
No Korean can be more grateful to an American than I. No Korean realizes more fully than I the disparity between my nationality and that of an American. Hence no Korean is more ready than I to explain away and forgive the haughty manners of an American. Yet to me, even, it is hard to swallow, and harder to digest, the pills of American arrogance. For instance:
10
My Darling lay sick in Dr. Adison's hospital over a month in 01. The ladies―missionaries―of the Methodist Episcopal Church, not only knew she was sick but told me that they would visit her. Did they? No, not one of them―not even once.
11
In 1899 Dr. Underwood and his wife paid a flying visit to Wonsan. My Darling called on her. When they left the port after a week or so, they passed by our very gate without returning our call. All this is harder to bear not only because these very men and women pay the most punctilious attention to social etiquette among themselves, but also they demand the politest courtesies from us. Thus they violate one of the first principles of the Gospel which they ask us to accept viz. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Of course, they may retort that they came to Korea to convert heathens, and not to teach good manners. That is true in the sense that they have no good manners to spare, much less to teach.
12
This overbearing attitude often keeps me away from many an otherwise excellent company―to my detriment. For, what can an American lose by my estrangement? Nothing less than my friendship which is less than nothing. On the other hand, I lose the ennobling influence and inspiration of some thoroughly wholesome associations.
13
The great Mutiny took place because "They"―the Sepoys―"were Asiatics who filled with the dull unconquerable, unmitigable distaste of Asiatics for white man etc". So says the author of "Asia and Europe." Indeed! Napoleon entered Moscow. The sacred city was set on fire just to make the Corsican and his mongrel army to feel it a little too hot to stay in Russia. The French fought the German invaders with tooth and nail and finally paid them off as quick as possible in 1871. If the Saxon did not kill off every last one of the Norman conquerors, it was certainly no fault of his love for them. The paramount motive that actuated the Saxon, the French and the Russian to deeds of violence was an instinctive dislike of alien dominion. Now this motive applauded as patriotism in a whiteman is the dull distaste of Asiatics in an Oriental. If so fair a writer as Mr. M. Townsend falls into this trap of prejudice, what may we not expect from an ordinary John Bull?
14
"Among Asiatics, cruelty and especially cruelty in putting to death does excite a certain kind of admiration as a conspicuous and unmistakable exhibition of energy." This is true in Korea. An instance:
15
In the heyday of Empress Min's power, when the very dog in the street was eligible to a high office (not because he was a dog, it is true) provided he happened to be a Min, a General Sin(申) then a Po Jang, went to see an influential Min. As Mr. Sin tried to open the door of a room from which the voice of Mr. Min was heard, a valet stopped the visitor saying that his master was absent. Upon which, the General called a policeman accompanying him and gave him a secret order. Then Mr. Sin pushed aside the impudent valet and went straight into Min's room and there seemed to enjoy his pipe and conversation in the most peaceful tone and mood. An hour later the policeman brought the General a paper reporting that the valet had been strangled according to the order. Mr. Sin quietly handed the paper to the trembling Min and left the house with no show of emotion. Mr. Chi Suk Yung 池錫永, who told me the story more than once, praised this act of Sin as being worthy of a great man. I doubt if one out of a thousand Koreans will veto Mr. Chi's verdict.
16
"He"―the Asiatic or Hindoo―"will sell his country in order to rule it." Let the pronoun stand for a gentleman I know of and nothing can be truer, unless it be that he rules it in order to sell it to the highest bidder.
17
Mr. Townsend writes that Mohammed was not licentious, because "we hear of no seduction, no adultery, no interference with the families of his followers." I should say, by all that is sensible, that a man who had eleven wives and two slave girls with no limit to fresh supply, could well afford to let alone his neighborꡑs wives without being the Sent of the Most High.
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페이지 최종 수정일: 2004년 1월 1일