Afterwalkingtwoorthreetimesalongthatpartofthelane, shewastempted, bythepleasantnessofthemorning, tostopatthegatesandlookintothepark. ThefiveweekswhichshehadnowpassedinKenthadmade a greatdifferenceinthecountry, andeverydaywasaddingtotheverdureoftheearlytrees. Shewasonthepointofcontinuingherwalk, whenshecaught a glimpseof a gentlemanwithinthesortofgrovewhichedgedthepark; hewasmovingthatway; and, fearfulofitsbeingMr. Darcy, shewasdirectlyretreating. Butthepersonwhoadvancedwasnownearenoughtoseeher, andsteppingforwardwitheagerness, pronouncedhername. Shehadturnedaway; butonhearingherselfcalled, thoughin a voicewhichprovedittobeMr. Darcy, shemovedagaintowardsthegate. Hehadbythattimereacheditalso, and, holdingout a letter, whichsheinstinctivelytook, said, with a lookofhaughtycomposure, "I havebeenwalkinginthegrovesometimeinthehopeofmeetingyou. Willyoudomethehonourofreadingthatletter?" Andthen, with a slightbow, turnedagainintotheplantation, andwassoonoutofsight.
2
Withnoexpectationofpleasure, butwiththestrongestcuriosity, Elizabethopenedtheletter, and, toherstillincreasingwonder, perceivedanenvelopecontainingtwosheetsofletter-paper, writtenquitethrough, in a veryclosehand. Theenvelopeitselfwaslikewisefull. Pursuingherwayalongthelane, shethenbeganit. ItwasdatedfromRosings, ateight o'clockinthemorning, andwasasfollows:—
3
"Benotalarmed, madam, onreceivingthisletter, bytheapprehensionofitscontaininganyrepetitionofthosesentimentsorrenewalofthoseofferswhichwerelastnightsodisgustingtoyou. I writewithoutanyintentionofpainingyou, orhumblingmyself, bydwellingonwisheswhich, forthehappinessofboth, cannotbetoosoonforgotten; andtheeffortwhichtheformationandtheperusalofthislettermustoccasion, shouldhavebeenspared, hadnotmycharacterrequiredittobewrittenandread. Youmust, therefore, pardonthefreedomwithwhich I demandyourattention; yourfeelings, I know, willbestowitunwillingly, but I demanditofyourjustice.
4
"Twooffensesof a verydifferentnature, andbynomeansofequalmagnitude, youlastnightlaidtomycharge. Thefirstmentionedwas, that, regardlessofthesentimentsofeither, I haddetachedMr. Bingleyfromyoursister, andtheother, that I had, indefianceofvariousclaims, indefianceofhonourandhumanity, ruinedtheimmediateprosperityandblastedtheprospectsofMr. Wickham. Wilfullyandwantonlytohavethrownoffthecompanionofmyyouth, theacknowledgedfavouriteofmyfather, a youngmanwhohadscarcelyanyotherdependencethanonourpatronage, andwhohadbeenbroughtuptoexpectitsexertion, wouldbe a depravity, towhichtheseparationoftwoyoungpersons, whoseaffectioncouldbethegrowthofonly a fewweeks, couldbearnocomparison. Butfromtheseverityofthatblamewhichwaslastnightsoliberallybestowed, respectingeachcircumstance, I shallhopetobeinthefuturesecured, whenthefollowingaccountofmyactionsandtheirmotiveshasbeenread. If, intheexplanationofthem, whichisduetomyself, I amunderthenecessityofrelatingfeelingswhichmaybeoffensivetoyours, I canonlysaythat I amsorry. Thenecessitymustbeobeyed, andfurtherapologywouldbeabsurd.
5
"I hadnotbeenlonginHertfordshire, before I saw, incommonwithothers, thatBingleypreferredyoureldersistertoanyotheryoungwomaninthecountry. ButitwasnottilltheeveningofthedanceatNetherfieldthat I hadanyapprehensionofhisfeeling a seriousattachment. I hadoftenseenhiminlovebefore. Atthatball, while I hadthehonourofdancingwithyou, I wasfirstmadeacquainted, bySirWilliamLucas's accidentalinformation, thatBingley's attentionstoyoursisterhadgivenriseto a generalexpectationoftheirmarriage. Hespokeofitas a certainevent, ofwhichthetimealonecouldbeundecided. Fromthatmoment I observedmyfriend's behaviourattentively; and I couldthenperceivethathispartialityforMissBennetwasbeyondwhat I hadeverwitnessedinhim. Yoursister I alsowatched. Herlookandmannerswereopen, cheerful, andengagingasever, butwithoutanysymptomofpeculiarregard, and I remainedconvincedfromtheevening's scrutiny, thatthoughshereceivedhisattentionswithpleasure, shedidnotinvitethembyanyparticipationofsentiment. Ifyouhavenotbeenmistakenhere, I musthavebeeninerror. Yoursuperiorknowledgeofyoursistermustmakethelatterprobable. Ifitbeso, if I havebeenmisledbysucherrortoinflictpainonher, yourresentmenthasnotbeenunreasonable. But I shallnotscrupletoassert, thattheserenityofyoursister's countenanceandairwassuchasmighthavegiventhemostacuteobserver a convictionthat, howeveramiablehertemper, herheartwasnotlikelytobeeasilytouched. That I wasdesirousofbelievingherindifferentiscertain—but I willventuretosaythatmyinvestigationanddecisionsarenotusuallyinfluencedbymyhopesorfears. I didnotbelievehertobeindifferentbecause I wishedit; I believeditonimpartialconviction, astrulyas I wisheditinreason. Myobjectionstothemarriagewerenotmerelythosewhich I lastnightacknowledgedtohavetheutmostforceofpassiontoputaside, inmyowncase; thewantofconnectioncouldnotbesogreataneviltomyfriendastome. Buttherewereothercausesofrepugnance; causeswhich, thoughstillexisting, andexistingtoanequaldegreeinbothinstances, I hadmyselfendeavouredtoforget, becausetheywerenotimmediatelybeforeme. Thesecausesmustbestated, thoughbriefly. Thesituationofyourmother's family, thoughobjectionable, wasnothingincomparisontothattotalwantofproprietysofrequently, soalmostuniformlybetrayedbyherself, byyourthreeyoungersisters, andoccasionallyevenbyyourfather. Pardonme. Itpainsmetooffendyou. Butamidstyourconcernforthedefectsofyournearestrelations, andyourdispleasureatthisrepresentationofthem, letitgiveyouconsolationtoconsiderthat, tohaveconductedyourselvessoastoavoidanyshareofthelikecensure, ispraisenolessgenerallybestowedonyouandyoureldersister, thanitishonourabletothesenseanddispositionofboth. I willonlysayfartherthatfromwhatpassedthatevening, myopinionofallpartieswasconfirmed, andeveryinducementheightenedwhichcouldhaveledmebefore, topreservemyfriendfromwhat I esteemed a mostunhappyconnection. HeleftNetherfieldforLondon, onthedayfollowing, asyou, I amcertain, remember, withthedesignofsoonreturning.
6
"Thepartwhich I actedisnowtobeexplained. Hissisters' uneasinesshadbeenequallyexcitedwithmyown; ourcoincidenceoffeelingwassoondiscovered, and, alikesensiblethatnotimewastobelostindetachingtheirbrother, weshortlyresolvedonjoininghimdirectlyinLondon. Weaccordinglywent—andthere I readilyengagedintheofficeofpointingouttomyfriendthecertainevilsofsuch a choice. I described, andenforcedthemearnestly. But, howeverthisremonstrancemighthavestaggeredordelayedhisdetermination, I donotsupposethatitwouldultimatelyhavepreventedthemarriage, haditnotbeensecondedbytheassurancethat I hesitatednotingiving, ofyoursister's indifference. Hehadbeforebelievedhertoreturnhisaffectionwithsincere, ifnotwithequalregard. ButBingleyhasgreatnaturalmodesty, with a strongerdependenceonmyjudgementthanonhisown. Toconvincehim, therefore, thathehaddeceivedhimself, wasnoverydifficultpoint. TopersuadehimagainstreturningintoHertfordshire, whenthatconvictionhadbeengiven, wasscarcelytheworkof a moment. I cannotblamemyselfforhavingdonethusmuch. Thereisbutonepartofmyconductinthewholeaffaironwhich I donotreflectwithsatisfaction; itisthat I condescendedtoadoptthemeasuresofartsofarastoconcealfromhimyoursister's beingintown. I knewitmyself, asitwasknowntoMissBingley; butherbrotherisevenyetignorantofit. Thattheymighthavemetwithoutillconsequenceisperhapsprobable; buthisregarddidnotappeartomeenoughextinguishedforhimtoseeherwithoutsomedanger. Perhapsthisconcealment, thisdisguisewasbeneathme; itisdone, however, anditwasdoneforthebest. Onthissubject I havenothingmoretosay, nootherapologytooffer. If I havewoundedyoursister's feelings, itwasunknowinglydoneandthoughthemotiveswhichgovernedmemaytoyouverynaturallyappearinsufficient, I havenotyetlearnttocondemnthem.
7
"Withrespecttothatother, moreweightyaccusation, ofhavinginjuredMr. Wickham, I canonlyrefuteitbylayingbeforeyouthewholeofhisconnectionwithmyfamily. Ofwhathehasparticularlyaccusedme I amignorant; butofthetruthofwhat I shallrelate, I cansummonmorethanonewitnessofundoubtedveracity.
8
"Mr. Wickhamisthesonof a veryrespectableman, whohadformanyyearsthemanagementofallthePemberleyestates, andwhosegoodconductinthedischargeofhistrustnaturallyinclinedmyfathertobeofservicetohim; andonGeorgeWickham, whowashisgodson, hiskindnesswasthereforeliberallybestowed. Myfathersupportedhimatschool, andafterwardsatCambridge—mostimportantassistance, ashisownfather, alwayspoorfromtheextravaganceofhiswife, wouldhavebeenunabletogivehim a gentleman's education. Myfatherwasnotonlyfondofthisyoungman's society, whosemannerswerealwaysengaging; hehadalsothehighestopinionofhim, andhopingthechurchwouldbehisprofession, intendedtoprovideforhiminit. Asformyself, itismany, manyyearssince I firstbegantothinkofhimin a verydifferentmanner. Theviciouspropensities—thewantofprinciple, whichhewascarefultoguardfromtheknowledgeofhisbestfriend, couldnotescapetheobservationof a youngmanofnearlythesameagewithhimself, andwhohadopportunitiesofseeinghiminunguardedmoments, whichMr. Darcycouldnothave. Hereagain I shallgiveyoupain—towhatdegreeyouonlycantell. ButwhatevermaybethesentimentswhichMr. Wickhamhascreated, a suspicionoftheirnatureshallnotpreventmefromunfoldinghisrealcharacter—itaddsevenanothermotive.
9
"Myexcellentfatherdiedaboutfiveyearsago; andhisattachmenttoMr. Wickhamwastothelastsosteady, thatinhiswillheparticularlyrecommendedittome, topromotehisadvancementinthebestmannerthathisprofessionmightallow—andifhetookorders, desiredthat a valuablefamilylivingmightbehisassoonasitbecamevacant. Therewasalso a legacyofonethousandpounds. Hisownfatherdidnotlongsurvivemine, andwithinhalf a yearfromtheseevents, Mr. Wickhamwrotetoinformmethat, havingfinallyresolvedagainsttakingorders, hehoped I shouldnotthinkitunreasonableforhimtoexpectsomemoreimmediatepecuniaryadvantage, inlieuofthepreferment, bywhichhecouldnotbebenefited. Hehadsomeintention, headded, ofstudyinglaw, and I mustbeawarethattheinterestofonethousandpoundswouldbe a veryinsufficientsupporttherein. I ratherwished, thanbelievedhimtobesincere; but, atanyrate, wasperfectlyreadytoaccedetohisproposal. I knewthatMr. Wickhamoughtnottobe a clergyman; thebusinesswasthereforesoonsettled—heresignedallclaimtoassistanceinthechurch, wereitpossiblethathecouldeverbein a situationtoreceiveit, andacceptedinreturnthreethousandpounds. Allconnectionbetweenusseemednowdissolved. I thoughttooillofhimtoinvitehimtoPemberley, oradmithissocietyintown. Intown I believehechieflylived, buthisstudyingthelawwas a merepretence, andbeingnowfreefromallrestraint, hislifewas a lifeofidlenessanddissipation. Foraboutthreeyears I heardlittleofhim; butonthedeceaseoftheincumbentofthelivingwhichhadbeendesignedforhim, heappliedtomeagainbyletterforthepresentation. Hiscircumstances, heassuredme, and I hadnodifficultyinbelievingit, wereexceedinglybad. Hehadfoundthelaw a mostunprofitablestudy, andwasnowabsolutelyresolvedonbeingordained, if I wouldpresenthimtothelivinginquestion—ofwhichhetrustedtherecouldbelittledoubt, ashewaswellassuredthat I hadnootherpersontoprovidefor, and I couldnothaveforgottenmyreveredfather's intentions. Youwillhardlyblamemeforrefusingtocomplywiththisentreaty, orforresistingeveryrepetitiontoit. Hisresentmentwasinproportiontothedistressofhiscircumstances—andhewasdoubtlessasviolentinhisabuseofmetoothersasinhisreproachestomyself. Afterthisperiodeveryappearanceofacquaintancewasdropped. Howhelived I knownot. Butlastsummerhewasagainmostpainfullyobtrudedonmynotice.
10
"I mustnowmention a circumstancewhich I wouldwishtoforgetmyself, andwhichnoobligationlessthanthepresentshouldinducemetounfoldtoanyhumanbeing. Havingsaidthusmuch, I feelnodoubtofyoursecrecy. Mysister, whoismorethantenyearsmyjunior, waslefttotheguardianshipofmymother's nephew, ColonelFitzwilliam, andmyself. About a yearago, shewastakenfromschool, andanestablishmentformedforherinLondon; andlastsummershewentwiththeladywhopresidedoverit, toRamsgate; andthitheralsowentMr. Wickham, undoubtedlybydesign; forthereprovedtohavebeen a prioracquaintancebetweenhimandMrs. Younge, inwhosecharacterweweremostunhappilydeceived; andbyherconnivanceandaid, hesofarrecommendedhimselftoGeorgiana, whoseaffectionateheartretained a strongimpressionofhiskindnesstoheras a child, thatshewaspersuadedtobelieveherselfinlove, andtoconsenttoanelopement. Shewasthenbutfifteen, whichmustbeherexcuse; andafterstatingherimprudence, I amhappytoadd, that I owedtheknowledgeofittoherself. I joinedthemunexpectedly a dayortwobeforetheintendedelopement, andthenGeorgiana, unabletosupporttheideaofgrievingandoffending a brotherwhomshealmostlookeduptoas a father, acknowledgedthewholetome. Youmayimaginewhat I feltandhow I acted. Regardformysister's creditandfeelingspreventedanypublicexposure; but I wrotetoMr. Wickham, wholefttheplaceimmediately, andMrs. Youngewasofcourseremovedfromhercharge. Mr. Wickham's chiefobjectwasunquestionablymysister's fortune, whichisthirtythousandpounds; but I cannothelpsupposingthatthehopeofrevenginghimselfonmewas a stronginducement. Hisrevengewouldhavebeencompleteindeed.
11
"This, madam, is a faithfulnarrativeofeveryeventinwhichwehavebeenconcernedtogether; andifyoudonotabsolutelyrejectitasfalse, youwill, I hope, acquitmehenceforthofcrueltytowardsMr. Wickham. I knownotinwhatmanner, underwhatformoffalsehoodhehadimposedonyou; buthissuccessisnotperhapstobewonderedat. Ignorantasyoupreviouslywereofeverythingconcerningeither, detectioncouldnotbeinyourpower, andsuspicioncertainlynotinyourinclination.
12
"Youmaypossiblywonderwhyallthiswasnottoldyoulastnight; but I wasnotthenmasterenoughofmyselftoknowwhatcouldoroughttoberevealed. Forthetruthofeverythinghererelated, I canappealmoreparticularlytothetestimonyofColonelFitzwilliam, who, fromournearrelationshipandconstantintimacy, and, stillmore, asoneoftheexecutorsofmyfather's will, hasbeenunavoidablyacquaintedwitheveryparticularofthesetransactions. Ifyourabhorrenceofmeshouldmakemyassertionsvalueless, youcannotbepreventedbythesamecausefromconfidinginmycousin; andthattheremaybethepossibilityofconsultinghim, I shallendeavourtofindsomeopportunityofputtingthisletterinyourhandsinthecourseofthemorning. I willonlyadd, Godblessyou.