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◈ 윤치호일기 (1893년) ◈

◇ 10월 ◇

해설목차  1권  2권  3권  4권  5권  6권  7권  8권  9권  10권 11권  12권  윤치호

1. 10월 1일

1
1st. Sunday.Chicago
 
2
A pretty day for Chicago.
3
Went into 2nd Presbyterian Church; but the length of theatrical parts of the worship, and the mechanical and listless way the pastor repeated the Lord's Prayer in displeased me. So I went into a Unitarian Church. The crowd was very small―a significant fact. The minister gave a good discourse on toleration and unity.
4
In one of the lovely wayside gardens on Drexel Boulevard had a long talk with Mr. Pak. The corruption of the Corean government, the Chinese encroachment and kindred topics formed the principal burden of our conversation. He advised me not to call on any Coreans as that will remind them of the "rebellion" and of the part which I was and is supposed to have taken in it thus endangering rather than helping my future welfare.
5
After parting with Pak, took a long walk to the South Park and thence to my hotel. This walk took in the Drexel Boulevard and the Grand, two of the finest Boulevards in the city.
 

2. 10월 7일

1
7th. Saturday.Chicago
 
2
Some of the incidences of the week.
3
1. Last Monday went to the Union Stock Yard. The Yard covers 640 acres. Employs 35,000 hands. Kills 900 hogs per hour. Cattle and sheep slaughtered in great numbers. The sight of the slaughter is so revolting that I couldn't eat any meat for more than three days.
4
2. Visited Lincoln Park. Excepting the Zoo and a botanical conservatory nothing of special interest. One feature of the American garden that is very repulsive to me is the excess of geometrical regularity and of the red floral displays.
5
3. Beautiful women are to me a greater attraction of America than almost anything else. The Northwestern woman has too much man in her, though. In street cars men keep seats and ladies stand. I vacated my seats tired as I was, four times for ladies. Only one thanked me for it while the others took the seats with no sign of appreciation. A Southern lady is certainly sweeter if a bit sillier than the Northern.
6
4. "Broken once by a boy and by ladies 8 times. Please do not sit down here". So read a pathetic entreaty labeled on a sculptured lion in the Art Palace.
7
5. "But where does the china part come in?" asked an ill-favored and worse tempered woman after an examination of a silkscreen with a placard having "China" on it. She evidently expected to find the screen made of chinaware.
8
6. It suffocates me (literally) to think, that there is a country of 80,000 sq. miles where millions of souls can not think or say or act as they please; where talents have no market; ambition, no sphere; patriotism, no play; where infernal despotism breeds and nurses generations of slaves, beggars and idiots; where men are dying in life and living in death; where moral and material putrefaction and filth are destroying thousands every year. How long will this political hell last? (I beg pardon of Hell for degrading it by comparing political Corea with it.)
9
7. One of the great temptation to extravagance in Chicago is the cheapness of standard works. At "The Fair," one of the colossal stores of the city, a beautifully bound set of Macaulay's England can be bought for 95¢! I paid2.50 in Nashville for an inferior set.
10
8. If I be inclined to blame the Northwesterner for not vacating his seat to a lady on the car etc. let me remember that this chivalrous notion of mine regarding the fair sex is not Corean but American, Christian and not Confucian. Honor to whom honor is due.
 

3. 10월 9일

1
9th. Chicago
 
2
A beautiful day. This being the long looked for Chicago Day, street cars were packed with Fair visitors from the earliest hour. Over half a million was the estimated number of strangers in the city. Think of it over 500,000! More than the population of the capital of Corea. Yet this immense visitors all find beds and board in the city―a fact worth remembering by a Corean.
3
The Intramural Elevated R.R. cars which run one after a nother every few seconds were so closely packed that the conductors refused to admit any from way-stations. After missing several cars at the 22nd Street Station, I had to go to the head-station at Congress Street to get a seat. Even then such was the crowd that I had to jump through a window. On the Fair ground, no matter which way I turned, crowds by thousands squeezed themselves to and from. All the buildings were uncomfortably full.
4
Some of the attractions of the day that I had the good fortune to witness were the Columbian choir of several hundred voices led by Prof. Tomlins. The vocal part must have been grand were it confined in a hall. But the open air and the band-music well-nigh drowned it. Some of the pieces were the "Hymn of the Republic", "Marching through Georgia," "America". "Home, sweet home"―I never heard it sung so effectively. When the band ceased and the vocal part alone repeated the chorus softly every word seemed to whisper itself into the soul. Many present involuntarily shed tears.
5
The reunion of States was a parade of boys and girls representing different states headed by the Iowa State Band. The parade which could have been made a beautiful display was a bust in my opinion. With one or two exceptions of which Ala. was one the boys and girls behaved very rudely and marched with scarcely any order at all. It was merely a child's play. Chicagoans in their efforts to be immense forget to be artistic. They pay more attention to the size of the whole than to the perfection of the details.
6
At 6 p.m. bade farewell to the White City for ever and ever and made for the Elevated R.R. Station. The crowd and crush were so great at this point that it actually took 25 minutes to walk or rather to be pushed along a space no further than ten feet.
7
At 8:30 p.m. left Gresham Hotel not without a touch of sadness at the parting. Mrs. Gresham and her pretty daughter Miss Margaret had been very kind to me. One of the waiting maids, Anna, whom I liked cordially for her sweet and lady-like face and manners, was absent. That gave me much pain.
8
Left Chicago at 10:30.
9
Some of the curious things I have seen and heard while in Chicago:
10
1. 1 saw four women whose hair reached clean down to their feet and swept the floor where they stood by several inches. All of them were over five feet tall.
11
2. A Canadian squash in the Fair weighed 486 lbs―10 ft.1 inch in circumference,―3 ft. 7 inch in height.
12
3. During the week of the Parliament of Relgions the papers were full of the religions of Japan and of the best presentations of the life and work of Buddha. In the face of all this, to my utter surprise, Mr. Hutchinson, my landlord asked me what the religion of Japan was. On my telling him that it was Buddhism, he almost idiotically asked if Buddha had done anything worthy of the worship of the people! Well, he is a devourer of newspapers and a steward of one of the leading Methodist churches at that.
13
4. In his speech in the congress of missions Dr. Bristol after describing the miseries of the alley life and the crimes and wretchedness of the outcasts of great cities of America said that the present method of missionary activity was suicidal; that missions like charity must begin at home; that the heathen at home must first be converted in order to reach the heathen abroad. Chicago is a big place, but I never thought of hearing so much nonsense from a Methodist preacher. The idea of talking about beginning missions at home when they began centuries ago! The idea of withholding the Gospel from non-Christian people until everybody at home shall have been converted when he knows or ought to know that there will be heathens "at home"" to the end of time! The idea of holding missionary activity in foreign lands in any way responsible for the miseries and crimes of the American cities!
14
The truth is this. The reverend gentleman knows that there are classes in a city which ought to be taken care of by the Christian churches and that the churches at home have in a large measure neglected their duties in this respect. But rather than running the inconvenience of blaming the home churches of whose ministers he is one, he comes down on innocent missionaries as the or a cause of the failure of the churches in their discharge of duties. Poor missionaries! Besides being the object of hatred of heathens, the butt of ridicule and calumny of Socrates, Platoes, Aristotles etc. etc. etc. of whom America is too full, the missionary must be the scapegoat on which is laid all the sins of the churches and the crimes of outcasts!
15
5. Reverend Thompson, a Christian (?) minister in Chicago, said one Sunday that all peoples worhsip God as well as Christians; that missionaries think they carry God in their portfolio; that the American boards of missions need be converted by some Oriental teachers. If he has no more faith in the superiority of Christianity than this, my wonder is why in the name of commonsense he pretends to be a preacher of the Gospel at all. God deliver me from this broadness that make a man a spiritual snail!
16
6. Prof. Henry Drummond pleased me very much by his affability. At my first interview with him last Sunday, he laid his hands on my shoulders and greeted me in such a kindly way that he impressed me as a practiser of the "Greatest thing in the World".
 

4. 10월 14일

1
14th. Saturday.Vancouver, B.C.
 
2
After four days of tedious ride over prairies, wild mountains, canyons, valleys of varied scenes and temperature the train reached safely its destination. A few words concerning the trip:
3
1. The C. P. R. R. is not what its friends claim to be in scenery or in accommodations. Having no competition the road seems to have its own ways.
4
2. The long and broad stretch of prairies without any sign of trees is a dreary object of nature. Here and there a few small cabins stand cold and comfortless. The barren soil, frosty wind, uninviting surroundings in general made me wonder why anyone should set up his abode in a prairie. Yet, thanks to the Anglo-Saxon pluck, cultivation and settlement are constantly though slowly making their conquest over nature. A man told me that in long winters the inhabitants of one settlement exchange visits and parties with those of arother, a ride over 10 or 15 miles being counted nothing.
5
3. The climate is very cold even in Oct. on the Atlantic side of the Rockies. But on the Pacific side flowers bloom in open air much later.
6
4. Indians were seen at almost every station. Some of them painted their faces red and most had red or blue blankets wrapped around their bodies. A sad and somewhat contemptible sight: sad because of their past history, but contemptible because of their inability to improve their condition. A race that fails, from voluntary laziness and ignorance, to avail itself of the advantages of civilization brought so close to its reach isn't worth-while to live.
7
5. Last Tuesday I had a stopover of 5 hours in Minneapolis. It looked larger than Nashville; but the streets and business centres seemed as if they had been deserted so quiet they are compared with the busy scenes of Chicago. The Minnehala Fall is a beautiful attraction of the town. It is a sheet of water over 100 ft. long and about 30 or 40ft. wide. (?) Its name rendered so romantic by Longfellow doubled its charm to me.
8
6. Pines among the Rockies are as straight as an arrow. The morning scenes of the mountains were lost in dense fogs all through the journey. When the mist cleared away the sun kissed the yellow leaves into gold, the green into emerald, the white clouds into silver balls and the whole slope into a smile as sweet as that of a bride.
9
The train got to Vancouver 6 hours later than its scheduled time; viz. 9 p.m. instead of 3. Went to Granville Hotel.
 

5. 10월 15일

1
15th. Sunday. Vancouver, B.C.
 
2
Found Granville Hotel a very poor concern. Its tables were exceedingly dirty, while at least a dozen of flies could be found in everything served on the table―soup, sugar, bread. pickles etc. Had to remove to Oriental Hotel.
3
Worshipped in a Canadian Methodist Church. The preacher is a handsome man; but his sermon was spoiled by too much repetition and "buts" and "howevers" etc.
4
Vancouver is a pretty town on a beautiful bay. The climate is mild. Snow on the mountains and flowers in the garden―a striking contrast. The town only six years old; but its cosmopolitan character may be seen in the variety of small coins in its use―Cantonese, Japanese, Canadian, American, English, Hongkong etc.
5
The streets are literally covered by Chinese of the laundryman type―sensitive to nothing but money.
6
Called on Dr. Anderson and his party after supper. Felt almost like meeting home folks.
7
Spent almost the whole of the p.m. in the Stanley Park about a mile or two from the town. Except a patch of ground given to the cultivation of flowers and to a small zoo the whole park is full of primitive sizes and tropical density. The nine miles of carriage road around the park are a great attraction to the well-to-do. The ferns and mosses I collected are among the prettiest of the kind.
8
Went aboard at 6:30 p.m.
 

6. 10월 16일

1
16th. Monday. Empress of India
 
2
The S.S. Empress of India is the best furnished boat I have ever seen. Its second class accommodations are better by far than those in one of the San Francisco line steamers. All of the common labor in the S.S. is done by the Chinese. They are preferred to the Japanese on account of their steadiness and staying power. The Japanese can never compete with the Chinese as long as he quits his work the moment he gets enough money to drink with.
3
About 380 Chinese got on board. As they were massed, now here and then there chatting in the ugly Cantonese tongue with a supreme indifference to the looks and treatment of contempt showered upon them by Americans and English, they looked more like a herd of dirty pigs than a crowd of human beings. Oh the detestable smell which they send forth in their quarters! Who can endure or describe it?
4
The boat left Vancouver at 7 p.m. Farewell! Columbia! Farewell!!!
 

7. 10월 29일

1
29th. Emp. India; Yokohama, Japan
 
2
A beautiful day after a vigorous morning shower. At 5p.m. the long voyage came to an end to the delight of many a seasick passenger.
3
Incidents of the voyage etc. etc:
4
1. The voyage was said to have been one of the calmest ever had. Only 12 days, too. Inspite all that I was too sick to get up for the first four days. The rest of the time I passed most wretchedly neither well nor sick counting weeks, then days, then hours, then minutes, then seconds. The 23rd Oct. (Monday) was dropped on crossing 180°. The s.s. made over 15 miles an hour; 376 miles being the maximum during the voyage.
5
2. The Chinese steerage being full, seven or eight Chinese were put in the European steerage outside of the 2nd class state-rooms. The tobacco and opium smell in addition to other smells peculiar to the Chinese filled the 2nd class dining room to the horror of the non-Chinese passengers. But there was no remedy other than patiently breathing the vitiated air with curses unuttered but deep. Of the 28 Japanese passengers 4 were 1st class; 4 2nd class, and 20 steerage Asiatic. Of nearly 400 Chinese there was not a single 1st or 2nd class passenger.
6
3. My roommates were fortunately three Japanese: viz.:八淵幡龍, a Buddhist priest; 島 etc. an ex-lawyer; 小崎成性, a prospective Doshisha professor. Mr. Noguchi, a Buddhist lecturer, ate with us though he slept in another room. Yatsubushi and Shina, being talkers, by education and trade bored me very much by their constant discussion or 議論. Some of the interesting remarks I picked up from these discussions:
7
(a) As might be expected. 八淵 and 野口 bragged about the Buddhist triumphs in the Parliament of Religions―They said that Buddhism was the only thing that drew the audience; that when Joseph Cook got through with his strong presentation of Christianity, some ladies came to them and begged them not to be offended at what "that Ox" (referring to the corpulency of J. Cook) had said; that the Shinto priest saves himself from the disagreeable task of publishing the nonsenses of his creed by his ignorance of English.
8
(b) "The sepulchre of Buddha being now in the hand of a Christian nation, an effort is being made to get up a collection from the thankful to buy it out. But should this fail we might go to war for it as Christians did for the sepulchre of Jesus. However, bloodshed being repugnant to the truth of Buddhism we shall have to convert the sovereign of England herself".
9
(c) "In Japan everybody, is a Buddhist. There is no field uncultivated. Hence we must occupy new lands. Missionary activity will check the sectarian strifes at home by sending out those who are never happy except in fight. That was the plan of Napoleon Ⅰ to keep the French from cutting each other's throat".
10
(d) "The followers of old faith in Japan are conservatives in politics while Christians favor progress. On this account religious discussions often degenerate into political wrangles, I have therefore always avoided making political addresses."
11
(e) Mr. Shina, the ex-lawyer, ugly in appearance but mighty in words boasted himself as being something of a walking encyclopedia. He hold that a man ought to know something of everything. He plied the Buddhist priest with innumerable questions in regard to Buddhistic doctrines. As skillful as the priest was in the manipulation of words so as to either conceal his ignorance or evade undesirable questions, the lawyer often drove him to a corner. The best hiding place and one which the Buddhist most resorted to was the obscurity of the Buddhistic scriptures. For almost every question of religious nature the priest would spin out a long argument or discussion from some passage or passages in his scriptures. It was amusing to see what little information or light the lawyer got after a patient hearing of a long and learned argument. Often did he in despair exclaim "Ah! Kore wa tai hen mutsu kashin gozaimasu ua! (Ah that's very hard!) . This argumentative nature or defence of Buddhism is its strong point as well as its weakness. Many minds may relish in subtle and curious arguments and speculations; more are, especially in this practical age, concerned to know the truths of everything in concise and pointed statements. But the misery about Buddhism, at least as it is in Japan, is incapable of setting forth its doctrines in pointed and intelligible and telling statements. If I had ever thought of preaching the Gospel of Christ with subtler arguments and lengthy discussions, I was persuaded out of the notion by the everlasting arguments of the Buddhist which can never make men better though sharper. What we Oriental nations now want is not vain words but work, not philosophy but power. If Christianity is ever to conquer the word-wearied East, it will do so only by its simplicity and sincerity and silence.
12
(f) Mr. Kozaki is a brother of President Kozaki, the head of Doshisha College. The former was coming home from America after 7 year's stay. He took special pains to tell everybody and on every occasion that he had graduated in Harvard University. He told Mr. Shina that an enlightened man in America doesn't believe in the miracles of Jesus, that he didn't believe in the existence of spirit or soul independently of matter. Yet this man is going to be the teacher of philosophy in the school built on Christian foundation I was disgusted to hear this Harvard philosopher say to an unbeliever that he would have to curry favor with missionaries in order to get and keep a good position.
13
(g) Mr. Noguchi is a native of Saikio. He amused everybody by telling how much he feared ghosts and spirits. He said that he didn't belong to any sect of Buddhism because each sect claimed to be true to the exclusion of others.
14
4. From the 3rd class Japanese I learned that in San Francisco there are over 20 Japanese houses of ill-fame, 30 Chinese and numerous American. In Portland, Oreg. at least 7or 8 Japanese girls are yearly kidnapped by Chinese, etc. etc. etc.
15
5. One morning the Harvard Philosopher had a little dispute with the barber of the s.s. "Didn't you throw that paper?" asked Kozaki. "I say I didn't, you d-u bloody liar! Get into your room! Get there!" shouted the barber. "I-I-I am a-a s-s-mall man―'' stammered out the philosopher. "I know you are small," replied the hairdresser in a modified tone, "but if you don't get into your room quick, I'll make you large. Get into your room!" The philosopher meekly obeyed. I remember these words with vivid recollection because they contrasted so painfully with the constant boast the philosopher indulged in about the Japanese being superior to the Chinese. The misery is that Japanese and Chinese get maltreated by Amercians and Europeans and then go and do likewise to the wretched and slavish Coreans.
16
The sight of the islands, boats and other Japanese scenes awoke in me a bewildering variety of emotions. Five years have passed since I last beheld them on my way to America. The varied experience of American life―its friends, places and associations tender and dear to my heart―passed before my mental eyes like a panorama of the scenes of some strange country seen in a dream. I felt inexpressibly sad too, when I thought of the friends whom I may never see again.
17
At 5 p.m. the steamer dropped its anchor in the Yokohama Bay. The native boats which crowded around the steamer seemed like Lilliputians around Gulliver. Yet how picturesque the whole scene! I felt as if I had come to an entirely new world. But my familiarity with the language and the customs of the people made me feel at home. Went on shore to Wata Hiko Ya 和田彦屋 as soon as I put my things in order.
18
Japan is perhaps the most delightful country in the world at least to me. The politeness of the people, their cleanliness, their obliging disposition, their hospitality, their high mindedness, their pretty women, their clean streets crowded on both sides with little shops full of nice things surprisingly cheap, their bath-houses where one may use as much hot and cold water as he pleases―all this and other innumerable agreeable little ways and things just made me intoxicated with perfect delight.
19
As soon as the steamer gets to the harbor a porter from a hotel meets you, and check your baggages with slips of paper on which the name of the house is printed. If you don't care to fool with your trunks while they are examined by the custom officers just hand the porter your keys― a thing that can not be safely done in any other country. This done a porter of the proprietor escorts you to the shampan. Another porter or clerk meets you at the landing with such warm greetings and polite as to make you feel good to be in their charge. Jinrikisha is called. The sensation of this man-carriage to one just from America is simply beyond description. I wish I could see the emotion of surprise and wonder and amusement that this mode of conveyance assails a foreigner who had never before been in the East. Well, when you get to the hotel, you are greeted by the clerks and porters blooming in smiles. Bows are innumerable. A nesan or maid is called who on seeing you kneels and bows with the profoundest reverence and welcoming words. She conducts you to a room scrupulously neat with hardly any furniture. Sit down on the fudon she hands you. The ceremonies haven't ended yet.
20
As soon as you are seated the pretty creature kneels and bows at the end of every sentence of congratulation on your safe journey and of gratitude for your continued patronage. Then out she goes as lightly as a dove. A little later she returns with tea and cakes. The tiny tea set which looks more like a doll's than grown people's is, however in harmony with surrounding. While you are enjoying the tea, the chief clerk appears with his book, pen, bows, congratulations, thanks, your name, address and age are taken down. If it be evening, as it was when I got to Yokohama, supper is served. There were four dishes on my table and three of them were fish. Hot and cold baths are at your service either before or after the meal.
21
I challenge the whole world to show me a warmer, politer and prettier reception for 50 sen a day than this.
 

8. 10월 30일

1
30th. Monday. A pretty day.Yokohama and Tokio
 
2
Having exchanged75.00 in U.S. gold for123.75 in Japanese silver, by the noon train I went to Tokio. Getting off at Shinagawa I made for Mr. Fukuzawa's as quick as Jinrikisha could go. Mr. F. being absent I went to see Mr. Kim O.Q. Missing him too I spent the rest of the day in shopping. Bought a copy of International Dictionary at 13.5 yen or about7.50 in American gold. I could not have gotten it in U. S. for for less than10 in gold.
3
Called on Mr. K.O.Q. in the night. Met one of his followers (Ono san) . At about 11, Mr. K.O.Q. came back. He welcomed me with characteristic warmth and familiarity. Spent the night with him.
 

9. 10월 31일

1
31st. Wednesday.Tokio, Japan.
 
2
After breakfast on my leaving the house Mr. K.O.Q. gave me 11 yen. It amazed me to see how he could manage to have money enough to spare. I sincerely thank him for his generosity.
3
Called on Mr. Pak Yong Hio. In his absence had a long chat with Mr. P.'s followers. He made some remarkable statements concerning Mr. K.O.Q.:
4
1. Messrs. Kim and Pak have been strangers for two years. All this because Mr. K. has proved himself a false man.
5
2. "The revolution of '84 was a hasty act of hot-headed youth under the guide of a false leader. I had never believed in Mr. K. knowing as I did his manner of life in Tokio while I was in the military school. After the event he has fully shown to the thoughtful of every nation that he is a false friend, incapable leader, selfish prodigal. Instead of leading a quiet life in honorable and honest poverty he has disgusted every thinking man of Corea and Japan by gambling and wasteful living on borrowed money. Thrice has he been stript of his fineries in his own room by officers of law to satisfy his creditors. He is a cheat and charlatan borrowing money on false pretext and spending it on real dissipation. He endangers every Corean who may be inclined to help him by publishing his would-be patriotic plans and the persons he supposes to be favorable to them."
6
3. In the Revolution of '84, Hong and Pak were real leaders, the one in plans and the other in execution. Most of the workers were Pak's followers. After the bust the only one who didn't lose the presence of mind was Mr. Pak.
7
Mr. Pak came in at noon. His reception was quiet but exceedingly cordial. He sopke of Mr. Kim as a born gambler who cares nothing but the gratification of his personal desires. Mr. Pak further told me of his plans for bringing out about hundred young men from Corea to be taught in medicine, commerce, and military tactics. He gave me a copy of the compact of the Patriotic Assoication of the Corean Youths.
8
Called on Mrs. Nakamura, the wife of 中村正直. She and her daughter recognized me at once, notwithstanding the 10 years, that have elapsed since we last parted. At the sight of the old scenes of my Japanese schooldays my memory went through a kind of a Chicago Day experience in the multitude of crowding and crowded recollections. It was exceedingly sad to see the old school buildings and the dormitories all changed into "rent-houses". Had a most delightful chat with the shop-keeper and his family whose little shop stands by the sparkling stream that murmurs by Mr. Nakamura's residence. Well do I remember the old nights, often lit up with the moon, in which I used to drink cups of 葛粉湯 or egg-tea in that little shop.
9
Called on Mr. 洪鍾字 who had just come back from France. He gave me a welcome that I had scarcely expected from a Corean not one of "us". He said that he knows 金龍大, one of my fathers attendants. Mr. Hong is reported to be bitterly opposed to Christianity.
 
10
At 5 p.m. went to Mr. Fukuzawa's for supper. The old gentleman made me feel good by his cordiality. Messrs. Kim. and Pak were there. After the tables were brought in, sake was called for.
11
Fukuzawa. "Yun San, let me pour you a cup."
12
Kim O.Q. "No! He is a believer; he doesn't drink."
13
F. "Very good, it is very well to believe if one can. But it'll do you no harm to drink a little cup of Japanese sake."
14
Pak. "Yun will drink when he gets to be an officer. I used to be a temperance man in San Fransisco when I had frequent associations with missionaries. Even then I had to drink a bottle or two of beer now and then to keep up my spirit."
15
Yun. "No! If I am going to drink when an officer I would just as well drink now."
16
F. "Methodists are very strict on temperance; aren't they? I wish I could believe! After all religion is but one of the means to keep the poor and the ignorant contented with their condition."
17
Kim. "That's true."
18
Pak. "Exactly. Religion is a tool of politics, nothing more or less."
19
F. "There used to be a missionary living in my house. He did no harm; but nothing more. He didn't lie; nor did I. Steal he wouldn't; but I have never stolen any either. Was he benevolent? So was I. Now if he was no better than I with his belief and I no worse without one, where does the use of religion come in?"
20
Y. "But it is not fair to compare yourself, an extraordinary man, with an ordinary Christian. But the use of belief comes in when you reflect that he might have been a worse man but for his belief."
21
K. "How do you know that? Have you any proof that he was worse without his belief?"
22
Y. "I can prove it only by stating instances wherein bad men have been reformed by religion."
23
F. "In my mind good and evil, cleanliness and uncleanliness, sorrow and happiness are all subjective. A thing is so or not so according to the state of mind one is in. After all men are good and do good, if they are and do so at all, from selfish motives. We wish our neighbors to be good not that they might be good but that they might not destroy our lives and property."
24
K. "What so. It is the doctrine of 筍子. All good actions come from selfish motives for the sake of social convenience. There is no way to explain the existence of evil and the inequalities of this life except by the doctrine of transmigration."
25
F. "Will it make any difference to our practical life, to believe or to deny that doctrine?"
26
K. "None! But if there be such a thing as transmigration, belief in it is knowledge and denial thereof ignorance."
27
F. "That I can't understand. Yet we must admit the existence of fate."
28
P. "I have been interested in telling fortunes by consulting the 四柱 (the year, month, day, and hour of one's birth) of a person. According to my art we five refugees now in Japan will return to Corea 2.5 years from this. The strange thing is that they left their country exactly when their 四柱 destined them to leave."
 
29
In the meantime the Euro-Japanese dinner was over. A few scattered remarks in regard to the intelligence of the Queen of Corea etc. led Mr. F to say that Corea must learn the valuableness of human life, and that it is very bad for a people to have no other alternative than to kill or be killed.
30
At 8 we three left Mr. F.'s house. Mr. K. and I walked as far as to Ginza. There we separated one from the other and I went to Asakusa, where I spent the night in a hotel.
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윤치호 일기 [제목]
 
윤치호(尹致昊) [저자]
 
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1893년
 
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