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◈ 윤치호일기 (1894년) ◈

◇ 10월 ◇

해설목차  1권  2권  3권  4권  5권  6권  7권  8권  9권  10권 11권  12권  윤치호

1. 10월 1일

1
1st. (三) Monday.
 
2
The Old Teacher has a wonderful memory. He looks over the list of the names of the boys who have been in the College for these 14 years and can tell, in most cases, who they are and where they have gone.
3
No doubt the Chinese owe their better physique to the absence of cheap brothels where a youth may give the full rein to sensuality, as he can and does in Japan.
4
Temperance, so far as intoxicants are concerned, is one of the Chinese virtues. I have never seen a drunken Chinaman reeling about in streets.
5
It is a noteworthy fact that most of the boys boarding in the College do their own washing, though they are amply able to pay for it.
6
As long as the Japanese soldiers stay in Corea, the reformatory measures will not go. The prejudice of the people is too strong against Japan not to suspect her designs so long as she keep her forces in the peninsula. But will the government carry out reforms if Japan withdraws the forces? No! Then the first thing the government or rather the King and Queen will do would be sending embassies to China assuring her of their slavish fealty to her. The old regime would then return with all its abominations. A pretty future for Corea!
 

2. 10월 6일

1
6th. (九) Saturday. Rain from Tuesday up to last night. A pleasant day.
 
2
Took tiffin at Mr. Rees's. His wife is a quiet and refined lady. Spent the evening from 4 to 9 p.m. with Sister at her home. For the first time in a month or two. I have felt cheerful today. When I returned to my room I felt as if I had lost something. I left a large part of my heart with my dear Sister(愛芳) . Wish I could see her every Saturday.
 

3. 10월 8일

1
8th. (十一) Monday. A cloudy but pleasant morning.
 
2
Yesterday I received a most beautiful Wedding Album from Mrs. Abbie H. Oh, that I could see that kind woman again!
3
Tsung Yu Ling(鄭有齡) , a Shantonese boy whom I thought to be a Christian, is my next room neighbor. He has a brother with him, whom he beats, kicks, scolds and uses no better them if he (the brother) had been a slave.
4
During the Japanese invasion 300 years ago, a Japanese general advancing from Fusan took the Capital in 20 days! The pig-tails, under the Tartar founder of the present Chinese dynasty, starting out from the Yaloo took the King in 50 days! The more I learn about the ignominious history of Corea. The more I am convinced that there is no hope for reformation under the present dynasty. For 500 years the government has done nothing for the elevation of the nation. Away with the dynasty slaves!!!
5
At 4 p.m. received a letter from my father and another from a cousin. The former tells me not to return yet. My mother is safe! God be thanked!
6
Took supper at Mrs. Bonnell's. Had a pleasant evening with Prof. Bonnell and John Wright, playing chess.
7
The N.C. Daily News and the Shanghai Mercury, both in symphathy with China, report that the outrageous conduct of the Chinese "braves" had so provoked the Coreans of the northern province that about 10,000 Coreans have lately joined the Japanese army. That a foreigner who had been sent to be an officer in the Chinese army had a narrow escape from the barbarities of the pig-tailed "braves". That the Chinese troopers are spreading terror far and wide near Newchang and other parts of Manchuria among the unprotected natives and foreigners. O that someone would inflict such heavy a blow on China that her mandarines shall never again squeeze, that her "braves" shall never again butcher innocent folks, that her literate shall never again brag, that her papers shall never again lie, that the Coreans shall never, no never again look up to China with slavish awe!
 
8
The sights that make me nauseate!
9
1. The long sleeves of the Chinese.
10
2. The air of superiority that an imperfectly whitewashed Malayan Portugese or Spanish puts on.
11
3. The big hat, the slow gait and the dirty appearance of China-worshipping Coreans.
 
12
The reason why the Cantonese are more energetic than other Chinese is that, as a people, they have been less effeminated by Confucianism.
 

4. 10월 10일

1
10th. (十二) Wednesday. A pretty day.
 
2
Dr. Allen, Prof. Bonnell and Mr. L. left here for Soochow to attend the annual Conference to be convened next Thursday. May God bless the assembly!
3
Except the disappointment I feel for not being able to see my precious Baby during the Conference, I am rather glad that the school duties have prevented my going to Soochow. I don't care to expose my sensitiveness to too much pricking unless duty or business demands.
4
For the first time in my life I made public prayers in Chinese tonight.
5
Loneliness is an open gate to temptation.
6
Mr. L., whatever may be his infirmities―and who has no infirmities?―is a man who does what he conceives to be his duty without wavering. He has some of the stern elements which enter into the composition of martyrs.
 

5. 10월 17일

1
17th. (十九) Wednesday. A cool and cloudy morning.
 
2
Got very tired yesterday. Teaching three large primary classes of the Chinese boys conscientiously is a telling task on the nerves. O how I longed for my precious Baby! O how vainly I wished I could refresh my mind with some congenial friends! After supper I went to bed hoping thereby to rest my vexed spirit and jarred nerves. But I might as well have gone into a furnace to be cooled or a refrigeratory to be warmed. The loud reading that the boys carried on was enough to keep me awake. But the thing that set my teeth on edge and my nerves jarring was the loud scolding and blows with which Tsung Yu Ling edified his poor brother(?) for nearly two hours without any intermission. Had a wretched night. O how long! I am thoroughly tired of the business here.
3
Mr. L.'s method of teaching the 1st and 2nd Readers is very superficial. He takes no pain to make the boys to understand the meaning of what they read. Their pronunciation is not carefully looked after. Beyond what they learn(?) from the readers they skim over, no collateral instructions are given. Some easy lessons in Grammar, Geography and Arithmatic might be very useful to the boys. But nothing of the sort is taught them. The 2nd Reader boys whom I made to know the principal parts of grammar etc. have forgotten them all under Mr. L. All he cares to cram into their heads is catechisms.
4
The old teacher even is afraid of the Cantonese boys. They always stand by one another. Controlling them controls others.
5
Received a letter from my precious Baby. She sent me two night-gowns, two neckties and two pieces of woolen socks. Dear Thing, I value these articles for the loving hands that have made them.
6
Dr. Allen. Prof. Bonnell and Mr. L. who returned from Soochow this morning, report a fine conference.
 

6. 10월 18일

1
18th. (二十) Thursday. A regular Autumn day.
 
2
Pale sun, sighing wind, cool and melancholy air. I wish I had my Darling with me!
3
This morning, Dr. Allen came to the chapel. When the devotional exercises were over he startled me by announcing to the boys and teachers that from this day Mr. Loehr would take charge of the College. As an explanation of this change in the acting principalship, the Doctor gave out that Prof. Bonnell was asked to manage the school during the months past on account of the ill health of Mr. L., and that Mr. L. being now well, would resume his former duties as the Acting Principal. So Mr. L.'s complaints about Prof. B.'s careless management have had their effect. Well, Prof. Bonnell, for ought I know, may not be sorry for this relief from the burden, while I am sure that the boys will be better controlled by the new or rather old principal.
4
I wish I were to leave this school by the next mail! I feel, though I can't explain, as if I were in a false situation in this school. I want to get away.
5
P.m. 3:30. At 2:45 or thereabout I went into Prof. Bonnell's study to glance over the "News". Mrs. B. came in and said to my utter bewilderment, "I am surprised at Dr. Allen's sudden action." Timidly I asked "Why was not the change all cut and dried in the Conference?" "Nothing of the sort. It was only about 5 or 10 minutes before 9 this morning when Dr. Allen came and told my husband point blank, that he had decided to put Mr. L. in charge of the school. Not a word of explanation did the Doctor give Prof. Bonnell, whose shrinking nature you know better than anybody out here felt so hurt that he could not eat his tiffin. Now, what will the natives and the boys think of the affair? Well I don't care what they may think but I do care for my husband's feelings. What has he done amiss to be thus treated? He can not work under Mr. L. Human nature can bear much, but there is a limit to our patince. Ever since Mr. Loehr joined the College staff, my husband has labored under all sorts of disadvantages. Some of the hardest things have been said against him (by Mr. L.?) ."
6
I most fully sympathize with Prof. Bonnell. Always gentle, courteous and sensitive, he should not be thus handled. I am sorry that Dr. Allen has done so rashly. He ought to have consulted with the party and have prepared him for the change. I would not be surprised if Prof. Bonnell quit the College. His place would be hard to be filled―notwith-standing the opinion of Mr. L. to the contrary.
 

7. 10월 20일

1
20th. (二十二) Saturday. A pretty day.
 
2
Rather warm in the early p.m. Headache.
3
This has been one of the steepest down grade weeks in my religious experience. What with the poor sleep I have had lately, what with the noise and smell with which my room is surrounded, what with the utter absence of any means of relaxing my mind and cheering my spirit, what with disappointment and shame I feel in the ignominious condition of Corea―all this and lots of other vexations have heated my temper to a degree of fretfulness at which the least provocation brings "cusses" to the tongue's end. In fact I have two or three times let go these forbidden expressions of ill temper out of simple despair.
4
Took supper at Sister's home. She was not at home, but spent a pleasant hour in playing checkers with her sister. Attended the Saturday night prayer meeting. Went cold and came back no warmer. The kind words and cheerful smiles of Miss Helen Richardson almost made me cry.
 

8. 10월 21일

1
21st. (二十三) Sunday. A decidedly cool day.
 
2
This morning's meditations:
3
1. Love thy nighbor as thyself. This command pre-supposes that we love ourselves. But I can not say I love myself when I treat myself with moroseness, impatience and bitterness. The very fact that I am the only companion I keep should make me gentle and kind to myself. God help me!
4
2. Is my patience tried? I ought to be glad to have something on which I may exercise my patience. Every little trial or vexation, if properly met, sharpens the chisel of the Spirit to perfect the defaced image of God in us.
5
3. Am I lonesome? Think of the forty years of solitude of Moses. The hours of loneliness over which I so often mourn Should be the time of thinking and maturing plans for future work. It might not have been a mere accident that I came back to Shanghai just a year before the present war. It may not be a mere accident that I have been sheltered from the storms which have raged and are raging in Korea. It may not be a mere accident that I am, almost against my wishes, teaching here. Turn everything, even vexation and loneliness, to a good account.
6
Took tiffin at Mr. L.'s. Just before I left Dr. Allen's study, Miss Mary cut a last rose of the Summer and pinned it on my coat. A simple act as natural to her sunny disposition as fragrance is to the rose. Yet this maidenly kindness shown to me lit up my soul with a beam of joy.
7
At 2 p.m. went to see dear Sister. In her company I forgot every sour thing. The six hours seemed but six minutes. She is a pretty and shrewd girl, calculating in actions, tenacious in love and implacable in enmity. She is bright and diligent. When I returned to my room I felt as if I had left something in Sister's home. O the attractions of a sweet and pretty girl!
 

9. 10월 22일

1
22nd. (二十四) Monday. A cool, cloudy day.
 
2
When I got up this morning, I felt as though I had awaken from a pleasant dream―the memory of the happy hours in Sister's company was sweet. I shall have to wait two long weeks before I may be able to see her again―if then.
3
I wish I could take a trip to Soochow to see my precious Jewel.
4
This month of unbroken silence in the war is by some regarded as the calm before a storm. Many, however, think that Japan has suspended any war-like operations in the hope of getting favorable terms without having to undertake the risky Winter campaign.
5
The government of Corea, instead of bending its whole energy to a thorough reformation, seems to be engaged in miserable intrigues between different factions. Hot water and soap are undoubtedly the best thing for that dirty gang.
 

10. 10월 23일

1
23rd. (二十五) Tuesday. A lovely October day.
 
2
Called on 鄒先生 at a tea house(一林春) . When I told him about my intention of going to Soochow, he advised me not to run the risk of being mistaken for a Japanese.
3
He said that the love of squeezing has become a second nature of the Chinese. "Even if all the officials in responsible positions were foreigners you could not stop corruption in the government. Take for an example the police department of the Settlement. A foreigner is at the head of the department, yet his Chinese underlings are so corrupt that no native can enter the police service without bribing them. A letter of recommendation from the Consul to the head of the police gives no better chance to a fellow unless the underlings be first bought." Sheng Totai, who made 7 tael on every one of the 30,000 rifles, is having as good a time in Tientsin now as if his crime had never seen the sun. The rottenness of the Chinese officialdom is appalling―surpassed only by that of Corea.
4
Took supper at the McTyeire Home. Spent a few very pleasant hours with the ladies. Miss Reynold said, "When I first came here Mrs. Gather and I had occasion to put some medicine on one of Sieutsung's feet. I thought she had the prettiest feet I had ever seen, That night when I bade her good night she squeezed my hand. It was the fist time that a Chinese girl squeezed my hand." Mrs. Richardson said. "The friendship between Sieutsung and E-fong has been an oasis in my life in China."
5
The ladies at the "Homes" remind me always of the virgins whom Bunyan's Christian met in his pilgrimage.
 

11. 10월 24일

1
24th. (二十六) Wednesday. A cool and cloudy day.
 
2
I haven't heard from my Darling for over a week. What's the matter? I am hungry for her.
3
Mrs. Bonnell shows me a decided coolness. I am almost certain that Mr. L. in his zeal for getting the principalship has misconstrued what I might have said as a part of the complaints (altogether his) calling for the change. I have never said a word prejudicial to the interest of Prof. Bonnell.
 

12. 10월 26일

1
26th. (二十八) Friday. A pretty day.
 
2
Took supper at Prof. Bonnell's. Bishop G., Dr. A., Rev. Wadsworth and Miss Mary A. were there. The sighs and songs of Miss Lilian B. made me wish I were 5,000,000 miles away from her side. I dare not utter a word in her presence.
 

13. 10월 28일

1
28th. (三十) Sunday. A pleasant day.
 
2
Wrote to Sister H. M., Fonzie, Bro. McDonell, and to Mrs. A.H.
3
The places in America that I remember with the greatest love are those where pretty girls were sweet to me. When I was in Louisville Ky. in the Summer of '91, I spoke to a crowd of pretty young ladies in an Orphanage, one Sunday afternoon. That night several of the sweet girls walked 4 miles from the Orphanage to a city church to hear me. The beautiful smiles of those dear little ladies I shall never forget.
4
Took supper at Mr. L.'s. Had a very pleasant evening with Dr. Allen. Like all great men he does not fear to repeat. He is not little. He does not stick to the letter of anything. I asked him if the Society for Diffusion of Christian Knowledge would extend its work to Corea in the matter of publishing tracts etc. for the enlightenment of the Coreans. He said that, if I had a definite plan, the Society might be glad to help me.
5
Dr. Allen said that Rev. Wadsworth has an unilluminated stratum in his mind. "He is ambitious to be a secretary."
6
My sweet and dear Sister Hortie sent by mail to my Darling a silver souvenir spoon. But some enter-prizing person pilfered the spoon on the way. The supereme comfort is that none may steal the love that sent the article.
7
Last Friday afternoon Mrs. Bonnell told me that somebody who does not want Prof. Bonnell out here has been undermining him.
 

14. 10월 29일

1
29th. (十月初一) Monday. A chilly and cloudy day.
 
2
Had a private conversation with Prof. Bonnell. In substance he said:―
3
"Though there has been no open rupture between Dr. Allen and me our relations have lately been anything but agreeable. Except in a very few things he has never consulted me in regard to the College work here. Naturally I was tempted to resent the sudden change which he made but grace was given me to bear it silently. The bretheren on the field have not treated me exactly right. They have shown a deal of lack of cander toward me. Some complain that I have made a very poor progress in the language. But they should remember that I am the treasurer of the both boards and of the College; and that I have been teaching English most of the day. Of course I do not claim that I have done or have been all that I ought to have done or been. Yet some allowances may as well be made for me. Under the circumstances I have lost somewhat of my interest in the College. I told Bishop Galloway my circumstances. As the health of my wife is rather delicate and my children have to be educated, Bishop Galloway advised me to withdraw from the field since the work for which I had come viz: teaching in the College, does not require me. He further told me that a man is to come out here to relieve Dr. Allen altogether from the College. So taking all these things in consideration I have decided to leave the field for home.
4
"Having been absent from home for ten years I don't know how I am going to get a position etc. I have to take the matter to the Lord in prayer and leave all in his providence. I think I could make a support here by setting up a private English school. But I haven't got the capital for that.
5
"If anybody is to manage the College as it is he must be a very strong man."
6
I am exceedingly sad that he, the most loving and helpful friend I have had for the past ten years, has to leave the field and that under so discouraging circumstances. I wish I were in a position to help him some way or other.
7
As long as Mr. L. is in the College it will be a rare thing for a foreigner to find the place agreeable. The native teachers positively dislike him. I am told that, he once seeing a Chinese teacher reading a book during the school hours, snatched it out of his hand and threw it away. That is not the way a gentleman should act.
8
At 4 p.m. went to Dr. Read's church to see the birthday present the Christian women in China will send to the Empress Dowager. The gift is a copy of the Vungli New Testament printed on the very best kind of foreign paper. Its cover is made of silver with bamboo carved on both sides. The box is also of the same precious metal. The title of the book etc. are on gold plates. The whole thing cost 1,100 contributed by nearly ten thousand Christian women in the Empire. Many pious prayers accompany the present.
9
I was most agreeably surprised to see dear Sister and Miss Yen(顔小姐) . I just devoured them with my eyes. I wish I could see them every day.
10
The races have begun. The streets, especially Nankin Rd, are crowded with loafers or spectators of all sorts and nationalities. In 18 minutes I counted 210 carriages returning from the Race Course. Saw two carriages full of Coreans―lazy and unattractive looking sets they were notwithstanding their silk dresses. Among the hundreds of "singing girls" whom one may see going about in carriages the most conspicuous thing is the absence of beauty. Their dresses are fine. They paint white and red. But neither dress nor paint seem to improve them much.
 

15. 10월 30일

1
30th. (二) Tuesday. A cheerless kind of a day.
 
2
War news that have been confirmed;
3
1. The Japanese have taken 九連城 on the Chinese bank of the Yalu.
4
2. The presence of 36 Japanese torpedo boats near Wei Hai Wei, hemming in the Chinese fleet.
 
5
The Empress of China is reported to be dead. The Emperor is said to be thinking about taking to his heels.
6
Took supper at a Cantonese restaraunt with Mr. 鄒.
7
About 8 p.m. Mr. ... , the Chinese brother who has charge of the Honkew chapel came to see me. He is a widely travelled and shrewd man. He is given to arguments.
8
The recent appointment of Count Inouye(井上馨) to the post of minister plenipotentiary to Corea has excited much comment. Some say that he has been sent there to Japanize the peninsula. For aught I know there is nothing in the rotten government or the lifeless population of Corea that may prevent the conquest of Japan.
9
It is amusing and, in some respects, sad that many a person who knows me thinks or expects that I shall sooner or later occupy an influential position in the Corean government. Some time ago Mrs. Richard told my wife to study English as much as she could since she would have to use it when I should get a high position in Corea. A day or two ago I received a letter from Mr. Abe(阿部) asking me to employ him in the law department whenever I should become an influential member of the new government. One thing is certain; that I have never said a word to raise in anybody's mind false expectations concerning my official future.
 

16. 10월 31일

1
31st. (三) Wednesday. A pretty morning succeeded by gloomy hours.
 
2
Receiving an invitation from Mrs. Bonnell to take tiffin with her as this is the birthday of Prof. Bonnell, I went in full expectation of having a quiet and happy family repast. But no! The moment I stepped into the study I heard Mrs. Bonnell giving it to a photographer in real good fashion. She was mad. Her two daughters were in bad humor. Prof. Bonnell seemed to be the only person who controlled his temper. When we got into the dining room, there was such a fuss over the pudding, the cook, the waiter and all that the tiffin was a perfect failure. Prof. Bonnell is always patient and gentle. I should think he would be happier if Mrs. Bonnell were sweeter.
3
Well, this is the first time I have taken tiffin with Prof. Bonnell on his birthday. Likely this is the last. May the good providence give him a happier birthday dinner next year and in the years to come!
4
After the school went to the Nankin Rd. to see the crowd. It was the biggest crowd I have seen since my experience in Chicago last October. The races had their last run today.
5
Mr. L. preached a long sermon. If the thorough belief in hell, in the infallibility of every word in the Bible, and long winded earnestness can make a good missionary, Mr. L. is one. But his domineering manner toward the natives destroyeth much good. Would to God I believed in Christ as firmly as he does.
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  메인화면 (다빈치!지식놀이터) :: 다빈치! 원문/전문 > 기록물 > 개인기록물 해설목차  1권  2권  3권  4권  5권  6권  7권  8권  9권  10권 11권  12권  영문  수정

◈ 윤치호일기 (1894년) ◈

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