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◈ 윤치호일기 (1891년) ◈

◇ 4월 ◇

해설목차  1권  2권  3권  4권 5권  6권  7권  8권  9권  10권  11권  윤치호

1. 4월 1일 (음 2월 23일)

1
1st. (二月二十三). Wednesday. Cloudy and foggy a.m. Cloudy and windy p.m.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
This morning, April-fooled Johnson, Jordan, Bradfield, Betterton, Cook, Scarboro, Christian, and Lattla―Professor. All sold themselves most roundly.
 

2. 4월 2일 (음 2월 24일)

1
2nd. (二十四). Thursday. Cloudy and very cold. Rained in the night.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
Felt exceeding sad and melancholy,―doubtless intensified by the reading of Marble Faun.
 

3. 4월 3일 (음 2월 25일)

1
3rd. (二十五). Friday. Cold―rained a little, then hailed a little―snowed a deal in the evening.
 
2
Finished Marble Faun. I do not like this romance―its progress is painfully slow and its end is most unsatisfactory. The book, however, has many a gem of well expressed thought.
3
This evening called on Mr. Holt and borrowed $15.00 from "Nichol's bequest". Mr. H. said that I might return the money or not at my option.
 

4. 4월 4일 (음 2월 26일)

1
4th. (二十六). Saturday. Very cold and cloudy.
 
2
On account of oratorical concourse before the Faculty, the University exercises were suspended. I spoke on the "Glories and Dangers of the English Language". 25 boys were on the list. 8 of this number were selected for the commencement oratorical contests. I was among the 17 non-elect! Felt disappointed.
3
After dinner went down town and spent the whole p.m. in book-stores. Received $6.00 from Dr. Hoss for the article I had written for him.
 

5. 4월 5일 (음 2월 27일)

1
5th. (二十七). Sunday. Bitter cold―windy―snow flakes now and then.
 
2
After the W.E. S.S. went to a North. M.E. Church. Besides the preacher, there were 13 male and 10 female attendants. The first time, since I came here, I saw more men than women in a church. Preaching over, most of the congregation remained for a class meeting.
3
The vanity of life, in the palace as well as in the hut, with the fool as well as with the sage, made me melancholy all the day.
 

6. 4월 6일 (음 2월 28일)

1
6th. (二十八). Monday. Bright―cold―windy.
 
2
Recit. usual.
 

7. 4월 7일 (음 2월 29일)

1
7th. (二十九). Tuesday. Cold but bright a.m.―cloudy p.m.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
After supper, Rev. Porter, a Presbyterian missionary to Brazil, addressed the boys on that field. Among many things he said that the (or a) Brazilian Catechism has not the second commandment. This was omitted by the priests to keep up the image worship.
 

8. 4월 8일 (음 2월 30일)

1
8th. (三十).Wednesday. Cloudy most of the day. Fine evening.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
Felt dull and cheerless in body and mind. Studied most of the morning hours in the library parlor. I have a homefeeling in the library and in the parlor. By the way, to was in this parlor that O.E. Brown and Miss Anna Muse studied the Greek testament together. Here they fell in love with each other,―which love culminated in their marriage.
 

9. 4월 9일 (음 3월 1일)

1
9th. (三月初一). Thursday. A warm and sunny day―boisterous wind.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
On my way home from a ramble, I was amused, near Blakemore Chapel, to see a dozen or more cows and bulls with hoofs, horns, tails, run wildly before a little bit of a fellow about 7 or 8 yrs. Old armed with stones. A fine illustration of the superiority of reason over brutal strength.
4
Met two mechanics passing by who interleaved every two words with an oath.
 

10. 4월 10일 (음 3월 2일)

1
10th. (初二). Friday. Cloudy a.m. Fine p.m.―boisterous wind all the day.
 
2
Recit. usual. Rain and lightening-night.
3
In the English class this afternoon, Vreeland most disagreeably surprised the professor and the boys by his would-be wit. It was thus:
4
Today being the Hawthorn day, every boy was called on to write a 5-minutes' essay on some subject about Hawth. or his works. All went on smoothly until Vreeland was asked to read his paper. He got up promptly. He went up and stood by the professor's desk, holding in his hand not neat sheets, but a piece of crumpled up Egypt paper with something jotted on it. Then he began to talk about "calling on girls," or "running race with Merriam" or "killing 5 minutes' time" or "the length of seven Gables" and other stuff of this sort. With an elated air he then turned to Dr. Baskerville and said "Dr., let me know when the time runs out." Indignation crimsoned the Dr.'s face. In the mildest and quietest way possible, he said, "Mr. Vreeland, we are here not to 'kill the time' but for business. If you have a paper, read it; if not, please give room to some one who has." Pallor seized on Vr.'s face as he tried to excuse himself on plea of having misunderstood Dr. Bask.'s directions in regard to the essay. Many felt sorry for Vr. while some seemed indignant against him.
5
Spent the reading hours in Hawthorn's Eng. Notebooks. I like Hawth. He is so full of reserve ungallied by morbidness; of dignity free from affectation; of sympathy wide in its range; of observation deep in its reach. His style is easy, his diction pure, his vocabulary rich. Best of all he has no sham or brag. He never bores his reader with "liberty" or "freedom" or "inalienable rights of man" etc.― humbugs that the Americans so much talk about.
6
Went to a colored cobbler's shop to get my shoe-heels fixed. While I was there nearly an hour many negroes of lower grade were talking in the room, but I didn't hear a word of profanity
7
At 7:30 p.m. attended the W.H. Miss Meeting. Dr. Lambuth gave a direct and pointed talk on the indifference of the home church to missions; on the obligation of establishing an African mission etc.
 

11. 4월 11일 (음 3월 3일)

1
11th. (初三). Saturday. A sure enough spring day.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
Spent two hours in the Philosophic Society where "Coeducation" was the subject of debate. The objections to coed. were that a girl's presence often hampers the freedom of lectures in the class-room and that she demoralizes the boys. The arguments for Co-ed were that women need high education as much as men; that there are no institutions in the South affording as good opportunties to an aspiring girl as Vanderbilt; that the influence of the fair sex proves beneficial to the boys etc. I spoke on the "for" side. However I think limited co-education is better than unlimited.
4
Between 4:30―5 p.m. with Jordan, called on Mrs. Hoss. She was sick―so came back disappointed after a few moments' talk with Miss Oglie.
5
:Received letters from Dr. Allen and also from Bell. The latter said that he was coming to Am. with Prof. Bonnell this fall.
 

12. 4월 12일 (음 3월 4일)

1
12th. (初四). Sunday. A lovely day.
 
2
Attended the W.E. S.S. and the morning service. At 2:30 with Jamison went to Central Bapt. Ch. to hear Rev. Lofton's pictorial lecture on monkeys. He took a monkey as his text and denounced the sins of "monkeying" with mens' character, with other's money, with the purity of women, with the Bible.
3
Wandering thoughts:
4
1. While Rev. Lofton put his whole soul in kind exhortations and solemn warnings there were several girls in front of me who talked and sneered. The ugliest sight anywhere is a pretty girl fashionably dressed sneering at godly advice.
5
2. On our way home Jamison said that he had lost all confidence in men; that most men are hypocritical. Alas! this is a bad fix to be in. I know what this means. But I am coming out of this. Now it is my belief that most men are honest. I do not think there are many hypocrites in the Church. I believe that every Christian is really in earnest about his salvation; that if he fails to come up to his profession it is his weakness and not hypocrisy.
6
Wrote to Bell, Kong Chee Yu, Hal Peoples and to Rawlings.
 

13. 4월 13일 (음 3월 5일)

1
13th. (初五). Monday. Warm and windy.
 
2
Recit. usual. Received a letter from Mr. McIntosh. Wandering thoughts: This senior year in this department has been a humbug. Except in the history class under Dr. M. I don't know what I have got out of the Systematic and the Discipline. I an not ambitious for the honor (if it be an honor at all) of the B.D. certificate.
3
2. I am too poor and too proud to seek for friendships. When they come, I accept them with gratitude and keep them―as far as I know how―with care. When they go I let them go―or I ought to let them go with resignation.
 

14. 4월 14일 (음 3월 6일)

1
14th. (初六). Tuesday. Fair―very windy―warm.
 
2
Recit. usual.
 
3
We have been studying or rather analyzing the 25 Articles for the week or two past. Theology is a cold and heartless and uninspiring affair―specially when so taught. By this I do not mean that theology, confessions and articles are bad things. God forbid that I should be so arrogant as to pronounce anything useless or bad because I do not like it. All I here mean is that I have no taste for theological subjects.
4
At 4:30 the Volunteer Band met with Dr. Lambuth in Brockman's room―14 boys present. Among means suggested for disseminating missionary information were
5
1. Writing missionary items to Conference papers.
6
2. Selling missionary. magazines and distributing tracts.
7
3. Giving missionary subjects to students to write on during the vacation.
8
4. Getting missionary columns in Conference papers.
 
9
After supper in regard to the class of "91" in this department I had a conversation something like this:
10
"Jordan, don't you think our class is the poorest this Department ever saw?"
11
Jord. "I don't think so. We are as good as any gone before us."
12
Y. "By no means. The class of '89' had such men as Brown, Harper, and Leich. Of the five 3 are in mission fields. Of the class of '90' Rawlings is already a pastor of a large city church. Wilson is a solid man. Dickson, Bruce, Hearn are missionaries. While in the University these men carried off medals or spoke in the Capitol or filled responsible positions in the literary and missionary societies. Now behold our class!-what a sorry stuff it's made of!-no medals, no Capitol, no positions!"
13
Jord. "Medals, speeches, positions do not amount to a row of pins. I did not come here for any of them. Besides, we recite as well as anybody."
14
Y. "Shucks! A parrot can recite."
15
Jord. "But life will show which class is better. Who can tell but that our '91' may beat others."
16
Y. "True. Indeed, if we do no better in the world than we have in the college, Heaven pity us! But I am now talking about our school career and not life. Really don't you think our class is the poorest that ever walked on this campus? I am sure the professors know this. Boys have a hearty contempt for our senior class."
 
17
To this Jordan answered, "Don't the boys have a high opinion of us?" What simplicity! Indeed if he were not so simple I would not have talked so freely. I like Jordan for this childish conceit.
18
There is only one man in our class who could stand high in any department. It is Nolen. As a man. I do not like him very much! he seems to be so absorbed in self.
19
After all, our class may turn out to be better than expected. God only knows; future only can tell.
 

15. 4월 15일 (음 3월 7일)

1
15th. (初七). Wednesday. Cloudy, windy and very warm.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
The Campus is really pretty-green, red, blue, yellow, white.
4
1. The biographies of world-wide great men are worth studying. But I have a great contempt for the biographies of ordinary men of local importance, whether of bishops, or generals or what not.
5
2. No passion or appetite or weakness in me that I can not or I shall not forgive. But the indulgence in or abuse of any passion or appetite I ought not to forgive.
 

16. 4월 16일 (음 3월 8일)

1
16th. (初八). Thursday. Fair and very warm.
 
2
Recit. usual.
 
3
Things that offend me:
4
1. Theologues wrangling about theological questions which nobody understands, among an ordinary company specially in the presence of sceptics or infidels.
5
2. Girls talking with dudes in the classroom while the professor lectures.
6
3. Christians joking about "hell," "heaven" and other religious subjects.
7
A little girl told me this evening that if one could blow 3 dandelions together at one breath, it was the sign of her or his being loved by a sweetheart.
8
The "Glee Club" gave a concert in the night in the Systematic room. It amused me to see merry girls and light boys listening to songs and recitations as light and merry in a room with blackboards full of "purgartories," "finally losts," "condemnations" etc.
 

17. 4월 17일 (음 3월 9일)

1
17th. (初九). Friday. Very warm. Cloudy in the night.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
When I behold the magnificent buildings in a civilized city, I despise hovels and huts; when I read about the lives of great men, such as Caesar, Napoleon, Luther, Cromwell, Emerson, I despise myself. But think! in my own little sphere I may be as perfect as the biggest of them. Courage! Faith!
 

18. 4월 18일 (음 3월 10일)

1
18th. (初十). Saturday. Rained all the a.m.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
After the classmeeting, I went to the Amusement Hall to see Kendall training vicious horses. A charming sight was his pony hitched to a buggy. The beautiful creature, without a bridle or a rein, was governed and directed by the motions of a whip and then by those of the hand of the rider.
4
If there are somethings in America that I envy more than others, they are (1) its beautiful women (as a class) , (2) its magnificent horses, (3) its soul-stirring music, (4) and its manly beard and mustache.
5
Luther never cared for consistency. He changed his opinions whenever he found anything better. That's the way a man ought to do.
6
Kendall, the horse trainer, said tonight, "Speak to your horse manly and sharp. Let him understand what you mean by what you say." We must heed this advice not only in dealing with horses but also with men.
 

19. 4월 19일 (음 3월 11일)

1
19th. (十一). Sunday. A beautiful day.
 
2
At 10 a.m. with Betterton and Bettis went to Humphrey Str. Church there to hold a missionary meeting. When I got up to talk I found myself so badly prepared that I was ashamed to ask God's blessing what I had to say-a punishment for negligence.
3
With Betterton took dinner at Bro. Alford's After dinner, at 2:30 p.m. accompanied Bro. Alford to the Industrial School. This institution is for unruly boys. Here they are compelled to work. About 150 boys in the school now. Bro. Alford preached to them on the 8 beatitudes. Institutions as this are the noblest monuments of a Christian civilization.
4
The ride thro open country did me good. On the way home from the Puplic Square the car was crowded. A colored woman came in; but nobody gave her a seat. I waited long enough to see how an American would practice his bragged-about doctrine of "woman's right." I vacated my seat for the black lady. A smile went around among the passengers. Thus I found that it is color and not woman, race and not right that the Americans respect.
5
Took a walk in Westside Park. Very little, if any, improvements were made in the Park since I first saw it two years ago.
 

20. 4월 20일 (음 3월 12일)

1
20th. (十二). Monday. Fair, very warm-a summer day.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
No word or words can express my intense longing for my Mother-especially this morning. I wish I had a woman-friend in whose loving and sympathetic bosom I could confide my troubles. my affections, my mother-ward yearnings. I like to see Mrs. Hoss.
4
I like Jordan's artlessness and childlike openness-to those whom he takes to be friends. His awkward manners and rustic appearance and habits shutting him out of the "aristocratic and fashionable" society in the Hall, he loves to associate with me-the lonely and melancholy me!
 

21. 4월 21일 (음 3월 13일)

1
21st. (十三). Tuesday. Fine.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
In the afternoon I tried to read some under the trees but Dr. F. Smith's two children-a little boy and a little girl-bothered me so I had to quit. They displayed most unlovely dispositions if this can be judged from their unlovely words. Listen some of what a girl of 8 or 9 said! "You are a Jap. aren't you?" "I will dash your brain out with this"-holding up an iron leg of a bench. "Some one told me that you had a child and that you threw it into water to be swallowed up by an alligator!"
4
Accompanied Bro. Harvey to East Nashville. There took supper with H. and Jordan at Mr. Binkley's. Mr. B. has a daughter aged 10. Even for an American girl, she is very precocious. She talked as a grown lady. After supper. with Annie and Bro. H. went to Mr. Knight's. Here the Epworth League of Bro. H.'s Ch. had a social meeting. The program consisted of songs. recitations, and conversation. I sat in a corner like a mummy for two hours. Cave a short speech. Came home at 10:30.
 

22. 4월 22일 (음 3월 14일)

1
22nd. (十四). Wednesday. Cloudy-cool in early morning and late evening.
 
2
Recit. usual.
 

23. 4월 23일 (음 3월 15일)

1
23rd. (十五). Thursday. Rained most of the day.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
Nashville has the most poorly kept prisons.
 

24. 4월 24일 (음 3월 16일)

1
24th. (十六). Friday. Fine.
 
2
Cut recit.
3
Having accepted an invitation from the Miss. Society of Culleoka, I took the 3:40 evening train for the place. Reached Cul. at 6:15. Took supper at Rev. Wilke's, an old superannuated Meth. preacher. Delivered a lecture on Corea in the church to a nice crowd from 7:30 till nearly 8:30. Answering promiscuous questions occupied an hour or so. The preacher in charge Rev. Patty, and Mrs. Williamson, the pres. of the Miss Society, took up a collection of $5.10 and gave it to me for my expenses. Returned to Rev. Wilke's house for rest.
 

25. 4월 25일 (음 3월 17일)

1
25th. (十七). Saturday. Fine.
 
2
Got up at 5:30 after a very poor sleep. Breakfast done, I took the 6 o'clock train for Nashville. The cool and fresh morning air of country revived my lately languid spirit. Reached Nash. at 9 a.m.
3
At 11:30 a.m. in company of about 260 students, girls and visitors, went to Lebanon on a special train-round ticket $1.-to see the baseball game between V.U. and C.U
4
Lebanon is an old, quiet town of considerable size. I liked the place with its wide streets, quaint houses and cedar groves
5
The game began at 3:30 and ended at 6. Lebanon beat V.U. 10 to 9. All came back crest-fallen and hoarse. After all I enjoyed the trip very much.
 
6
Recollections:
7
1. Culleoka, I was told, is a town of between 2 and 3 hundred inhabitants. It has 2 dry goods stores, 4 family groceries, 1 school, 2 churches.
8
2. This morning in the car a man asked the age of a young lady. What surprized me was that she, without any sign of embarrassment, told him her age-18, she said.
9
3. On the way to Lebanon, I saw, for the first time in America, a negro woman plough.
 

26. 4월 26일 (음 3월 18일)

1
26th. (十八). Sunday. Fine.
 
2
Attended W.E. S.S With Betterton, attended the morning service in Christ Church. Little more than one solid hour was devoted to reading rituals, singing psalms, kneeling, bowing etc. About 20 minutes' sermon wound up the service. The room was full but there were only about 15 men, all the rest being ladies. The prettiest sight of the whole program was the kneeling of graceful young women. But so little spiritual food! No wonder that so few men attend the service.
3
Took a nap from 4:30 to 6:30.
4
Heard Downer preach in Immanual Church.
 

27. 4월 27일 (음 3월 19일)

1
27th. (十九). Monday. Fine.
 
2
Recit. usual. Felt dull and weak from head to feet.
 

28. 4월 28일 (음 3월 20일)

1
28th. (二十日). Tuesday. Fine.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
Rec'd a letter from Rev. Appenzeller saying that "steward" being dead, he could not find out my home. Too bad!
4
Attended the fortnightly meeting of the Volunteers' Band. 10 boys-Brazil. the subject.
 

29. 4월 29일 (음 3월 21일)

1
29th. (二十一). Wednesday. Fine.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
Rec'd letters from Nagami and Dr. Allen.
 

30. 4월 30일 (음 3월 22일)

1
30th. (二十二). Thursday. Fine.
 
2
Recit. usual.
3
This morning in Dr. T.'s Systematic room, the subject on which each boy had to read an essay was "Do we need a Wesley, an American Confession of Faith?" Everybody was on the affirmative side-except myself. The arguments for a new Confession were:
4
1. Our 25 Art. are insufficient as a standard of faith.
5
2. The education of our members needs a new Confession and a catechism.
6
3. The Articles, written 350 yrs ago by Archbishop Cranmer can not adequately express our doctrines.
7
4. A Confession clearly stating our doctrines will induce the members of other churches to join us. Some Presbyterians, who do not believe in Calvinism, hesitate to join Meth. on account of their ignorance of the excellence of our doctrines. More outsiders will join us too.
8
5. A Confession is a citadel of a church. Calvinism would have died 50 years ago but for the staying power of its Westminster Confession and Catechisms. Had we a Confession that the Meth. mothers could have taught to their children, what a power these indoctrinated children would have proved to the church!
 
9
I do not believe in these arguments. My reasons:
10
1. "This is no creed making age." Men are tired of barren dogmas, confessions, fossilized theology. What we want is not more formulae but faith; not more standards but spirituality; not more catechisms but character.
11
2. With the Bible, life and experience but no confession, Meth. has in a century outrun, in the spiritual race, all other denominations. When Meth. decays, it will be due to the absence of life and never to the need of Confession.
12
3. The argument that but for its Confession and catechism, Cal. would have gone down long ago amounts to nothing. For, if Cal'sm is true it will live independent of its confessions and catechisms. If it is false, the sooner it falls the better for the church and the world. The church or system that has not power, life, and truth enough to stand but by artificial supports is not worth keeping.
13
4. Outsiders in this age of common sense, will gladly join the Meth. church as long as she has a living religion to offer. It is the consistent life and not the sound creed of a church that draws men to Christ. As for the members of other churches what need have we to convert them Methodists. The gate of heaven is as wide open to them as to us. If a Presbyterian gets dissatisfied with his doctrines he has ample means of examining those of Methodism in the many treatises on the subject. As we do not need a Confession for ourselves, why should we need one for a Calvinist?
14
5. It is argued that a mother teaching her children our Confession or Catechism will make them a power in the church. Nonsense! Such a mother will teach her children something far better than a Confession or a catechism, viz. the Bible. If the children taught in the Bible make no power, neither will a dry catechism do them much good. On the other hand. the mother who does not teach her children the Bible will never teach them a confession.
15
6. Our 25 is a sufficient standard of our faith. If anybody asks us "What is your standard of doctrines." let us point to the Bible.
16
However, I recommend the revision of the 25. Some of the Articles need be reconstructed to make them plain, while others ought to be thrown out. By this I do not ask for more articles or a new Confession. All I want is that the doctrines already found in the 25 should be put in more clear statements.
17
In a talk with Yosh. tonight, he said that Russia is reported to show greater aggressiveness in its movement toward Corea. Corea can not change for worse anyway.
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