2
1st. (11th).Wednesday. Cold, very windy.
3
Thermometer 50℉., 20 lower than a few days ago. This is the first day of another year. Another cycle of 12 months is before me with its unborn changes. Some events that may affect my whole destiny may be hidden in the bosom of this year to be revealed as time unfolds its mysteries in the coming 360days. A solemn yet pleasing thought this is! God, to Thee I commit myself. Guide me in Thy own way according to Thy wisdom. Direct me in such a way as Thou seest best for me!
4
Supped with Dr. Tillet. Everything in his rooms and on his table is scrupulously neat.
6
2nd. (12th). Thursday. Cloudy and cold.
7
Confined to my room on account of a boil right under the knee of the right leg. Read Mother's letter which I had received in Shanghai. When shall I have the happiness of meeting her, the dearest treasure I have, and of ministering to her comfort? Oh, how I long to know how well she is now!
9
3rd. (13th). Friday. Cold. cloudy and damp.
10
Confined to the room. The boil caused much pain. Dr. Hashimoto has been kind to me. Jacob comes often and helps me much. There is a man, right next to me, whose want of sympathy surprises me a little. When he was sick a few weeks ago, I attended him, rendered what service I could though I was then suffering from a sore foot. I have been confined to bed for some time, he pays no attention whatsoever. When he does call on me his manner is so perfunctory and so full of the air of condescension that I can hardly help wishing him more Christian in his acts than in words. There is a preacher in my class. He lives on my floor. He never looks into my room when I am sick. Yet this man preaches every Sunday the love and mercy of the Gospel. There are a few exceptions. Baker is one. He is always kind to the sick. Learn a lesson from this; be kind to a stranger specially when he is sick, specially when he is poor, specially when he is friendless. Much pain.
12
4th. (14th). Saturday. Cold, cloudy, and damp.
13
The boil opened. Less pain. Many boys in the Hall are down with La Grippe(?) . The weather is not favorable to health.
15
5th. (15th). Sunday. Cloudy, damp, disagreeable weather.
16
I ought to have kept the bed today, but duty called me up. Had to go to Humphry Street Church to make a missionary speech to a S.S. Missionary Society.
17
The substance of the talk was these:
18
1. My own experience refutes the argument that the heathen need no Gospel because he has a religion as old and as good as Christianity. Let not this notion prevent you from zealously carrying out the Injunction of Christ.
19
2. Those who think they have means and men hardly enough for the domestic missions reminds me of the disciples of old. When Christ told the disciples to feed the multitude they thought 5 loaves and 2 fishes were not sufficient for them. But Christ blessed the loaves and fishes. The multitude were filled and 12 baskets were left over.
20
Now, Christ commands his Church to preach the Gospel to every Creature; and some turn round and answer "Lord, we have scarcely men and means enough for the home missions much less for the heathens". These people seem to forget that the Gospel power increases at home in proportion to its spread in foreign lands, just as 5 loaves and 2 fishes multiplied as they were distributed to the multitude.
21
3. The vast number of the heathens should not discourage the Church. 1,047 millions of unchristianized population should no more frighten 134 million protestants than 120 mill. Roman and Greek pagans discouraged 1 apostle-St. Paul.
22
4. Christianity is now in an exactly reverse condition than she was in her infancy. When Paul first proclaimed the Gospel on the Mars Hill, he was poor and despised. He belonged to a nation then poor and despised. He had no weapon except the sword of the spirit. Gold and silver he had none, except the unsearchable riches of Christ, Science, art, eloquence, philosophy, literature, wealth, power, glory and dominion were on the side of the heathen. Yet Paul never despaired and he conquered.
23
Now, all these advantages are on the side of Christianity with her original power and vitality. Should the Church with such means at its command doubt of its victory?
24
5. America has done much for the world and Christ. So has done our Church. But much is left to be done. The opportunities and means of Christianizing the world are at your command. You are responsible for the right use of these opportunities and means.
25
Read a paper on A.C.C. to the Sunday Missionary Society in the Hall Chapel.
27
6th. (16th). Monday. Windy. Not very cold.
28
Yesterday's walking had a bad effect on the boil. Had to be in bed all day. Read Macaulay's History.
30
7th. (17th). Tuesday. Cloudy.
33
8th. (18th). Wednesday. Fine weather.
36
9th. (19th). Thursday. Cloudy.
37
The boil is getting well, but very slowly. Jacob came and talked about various subjects. He said that his countrymen do not like the missionaries of America and England.
38
He gave the following reasons:
39
1st. The missionaries exercise or try to exercise absolute authority over their converts.
40
2nd. The missionaries treat the native preachers "like slaves" without paying them enough to support their families.
41
3rd. The missionaries do not give the native preachers a fair education.
42
Finished Macaulay's History Vol. Ⅱ.
44
10th. (20th). Friday. Cloudy, warm. Rained a little in the morning.
45
Met Miss Muse. She is going to study theology here-so they say. Hair cut.
47
11th. (21st). Saturday. Fine weather in the morning. Cloudy afternoon. Windy and warm.
48
At this morning's English recitation, Dr. Baskerville said:
49
1. That the late war cost America much blood and many lives. But the result of the war is worth all the blood shed and all the lives lost.
50
2. That the war saved the Union which is so essential to the welfare of America. If the Secession succeeded America would have been divided into separate independent states whose peace should have been kept only by force as it is in Europe.
51
3. That the war has done away with slavery-which was the shame of America-which nothing, absolutely nothing else could do away.
52
4. That the war has saved the slave owners from the dominion of indolence, indulgence, and love of tyranny-the vices attendant to slavery. Young men with slaves may live in luxury and ease, hunting foxes and shooting birds; but they can not develop manly qualities-self-reliance, industriousness and moral courage.
53
5. That as a Southerner he is not free from prejudices; but as a student of history and a thinker, he must own that the war was necessary and that it was highly beneficial to America and the world.
54
Took a nap in p.m. Had a very profitable class meeting. The subject was "Thy will be done." All the personal testimonies may be summed in the following points.
55
1. We are ready to be resigned to His will in great things of life; but in little matters we are peevish and impatient.
56
2. We do not often know what God's will is.
57
3. We do not seek to do His will.
58
These are my troubles, and, by God's grace, I want to be more watchful.
59
Talked about an hour with Dr. Hashimoto. He is very shrewd and patient. The majority of the West Side boys are immoral. So the Dr. says. He is one of the best Japanese I met with here. By the way, almost all the Japanese I met here profess to be Christians. They do this simply for the sake of expediency. They thus cheat many people. I do not know why. Abe was an exception. He confessed his unbelief. I think Abe is more to be respected, in this respect, than many of his nominally Christian countrymen.
61
12th. (22nd). Sunday. Windy. Rained a little in early morning.
63
After breakfast, had a short prayer with Brother Klien. Then we had a very social talk. He spoke to me the changes he had gone through in domestic and religious life-an interesting sketch of his life. He pines for his wife. I heartily sympathize with him.
64
Attended a consecration meeting in the Hall. The leader compared a half Christian to a half dead and half alive man. A striking illustration this is; the one is as wretched as the other.
65
Wind and rain till late in the night.
67
13th. (23rd). Monday. Fine, cold.
68
Very sleepy in the night, but having made a resolution to the effect that I would not go to bed until 11, I slept on the chair from 9:30 till 11. Then went to bed. A fine way of keeping resolutions!
70
14th. (24th). Tuesday. Fine a.m. Cloudy p.m. cold, mercury stood 36℉. a.m.
71
This afternoon Dr. Baskerville told me I was doing very fine(!) . What reason has he for this? On my coming back to the room I found a slip of paper on which some mean tricker wrote in the name of Miss Florence, "Dear Sweet Yun. I love you very very very much. I wish you could sit by me at the table etc." I do not think Dr. Baskerville meant what he said any more than this trickish note does. Rained in night.
73
15th. (25th). Wednesday. Rain all day long.
74
Received a letter from Dr. Allen, dated Dec. 2, 1889.
75
This morning, Dr. Garland, in reading the rules to be observed in examination, said to the boys, "We do not suspect anybody, unless he forces us to suspect him by mean tricks".
77
16th. (26th). Thursday. Fine, cold.
78
By the way this is my birthday. Does anybody think of me? Yes, there is one; my dear, dear, dear Mother! I seem now to be in favor with the boys and some of the professors. At least in appearance it is so. God forbid that I should become careless! Common sense forbid that I should be deceived by appearances! Experience forbid that I should trust in the fickle and uncertain shows of approbation and favor of men!
80
17th. (27th). Friday. Cold and fine. 16℉. a.m.
81
Had very bad headache from dinner time until night. Went to bed immediately after supper.
83
18th (28th). Saturday. Cold and fine.
84
Stood examination in education. Received letters from Kong Chee Yu and Bell. Was glad to receive a picture of Kong. Had to go to bed early-so tired and sleepy.
86
19th. (29th). Sunday. Rainy. rather lukewarm.
87
Attended S.S. and Ch. Dined with Dr. Baskerville at his home. Heard two remarkable stories. One of them is that somewhere in Alabama. a mock marriage was celebrated in an entertainment. The couple declaired themselves wife and husband taking this mock ceremony as real and lawful marriage.
88
The other is this; One day Professor Roderiguez received letter from a quiet and reticent young lady asking him to take her to certain place. The Spanish Professor went to her house and told the lady that he was sorry that he had no time to comply with her request. On which, (imagine the surprise of the Professor!) the lady asked him what he meant by this. The forgery of the letter was then soon ascertained; and it was found out that the trick was played by Edie the little and precocius daughter of Professor Alexander. The girl is only about ten or eleven years old! I wonder if she had not been the author of that little note I received a few days ago in the name of Miss F. Cornwall.
89
Went to Penitentiary and taught the class. In the night read the "China's Millions." Could not help shedding tears not of grief but of sympathy as I read the letter from Miss Johnson. an English missionary, whose soul seems to be all taken up by her work for Christ. Her stories of the little girls under her care are delightful. She asks for prayers. She shall occupy in my prayers a prominent place. God bless thy devoted handmaidens in heathen lands!
91
20th. (30th). Monday. Rained-damp.
92
This is the last day of 498 Corean Calendar.
93
I have, for a year or so, considered anything confirmed by the "Final Resolution" as unchangeable during the "Term" in which the "Resolution" is in force. But finding that the spirit is often sacrificed to the letter of the resolution, I here make some amendments to the "Rules of Final Resolution".
94
1st. No "Final Resolution" should be made from this day, without being fully persuaded that it can be kept.
95
2nd. A "Final Resolution" admits no change, no shortening of the "term" and no abolition, save under the conditions to be set forth in the (3rd) article.
96
3rd. But, if, unfortunately, it should come to pass that the spirit of a "Final Resolution" can not possibly be kept without violating the letter; that, in other words, the letter domineers over the spirit of a "Final Resolution". then the "Final Resolution" may be modified. Such modifications should be always and absolutely for the better and not for the worse. Such modifications ought to be fully sanctioned by conscience, common sense and judgment. Such modifications should be so proper and right as worthy of prayers on them.
97
4th. Divine curse be on any capricious changes or modifications of a "Final Resolution" that is contrary to the (3rd) article or to conscience or common sense.
98
5th. These Rules should be observed from this day to the 20th January 1891 inclusive.
99
To illustrate how I sometimes sacrifice the spirit of a "Final Resolution" to its letter: Sometime ago I made a "Final Resolution" that I should go to bed at 11 p.m. and no earlier for a week or two. This brought me headaches and weariness so as to interrupt my studies for whose sake I made this "Final Resolution". But, finding it impossible to sit up to the required bed hour, I, with pharisaical adherence to the letter of a law, slept on the chair for hours until 11, and then went to bed.
100
This is an abominable way of keeping a rule or law whether it be Divine or human. It is far better to break a law altogether than to sacrifice its spirit to its letter.
103
1st of 1st Moon of 499 Corean Calendar.
104
Sunny but cold. Felt very weak. Chill and dull and heavy head. Had great difficulty in standing examin. in Pope. Received a letter from Spencer. Obliged to go to bed at about 3:15 p.m.
106
22nd. (2nd). Wednesday. Fine, cold. Cloudy p.m.
107
Felt bad all day long. I fear my turn has come to be down with La Grippe.
110
23rd. (3rd). Thursday. Cold-rainy.
111
Felt little better. Reviewed for examination.
113
24th. (4th). Friday. Frosty this morning-cold.
114
Reviewed for examination. In the night Jacob came to my room and studied. He said that, having received a letter from his little sister today, he felt "lonesome in his room". Poor fellow! I know exactly what he means. He is far away from home and mother without any prospect of when or how to go back.
116
25th. (5th). Saturday. Gloomy and cold.
117
Reviewed. Three examinations will come in succession next week but I am not half done with my reviews. I put off reviews too much. The penalty of this folly will be three great "busts" next week. Don't repeat this foolishness next time.
118
Miss Hamilton has not written me a line for months. Have I offended her any? Well, let her think of me in whichever way she pleases, ill or well; she shall always have a seat in my prayer and sympathy.
119
I pine for home news. Not a word from Mother for more than a year and half. I feel so desolate.
121
26th. (6th). Sunday. Fine warm, and windy.
122
Spent the whole a.m. in the Hall Library with missionary papers. There can be no doubt that the heathen world owes great debt to missionaries. For, what class of men-beside missionaries-show so much interest in the welfare of the heathen? Greedy merchants or cold philosophers or cunning politicians or conceited scientists or profane infidels? None of these will leave happy home and devote a whole life to the good-the regeneration and the salvation-of the heathen in a strange land. It is the missionary that does this. God bless missionaries, specially ladies.
123
Taught the S.S. class in the Penitentiary.
124
Fine moonlight. Warm and disagreeable wind. This kind of weather is very unhealthy.
125
Had a talk with Hasegawa, a friend of Dr. Hashimoto. Hasegawa said that he saw a Japanese who "baptized himself with wine the day after water baptism". A witty way of describing the inconsistency of some Japanese Christians.
127
27th. (7th). Monday. Fine and warm.
128
Stood examination in Psychology. Received a letter from Dr. Allen. The promptness with which he answers my letters is indicative of his energy. He knows how to win men. Without such energy and sagacity he could not have accomplished what he has accomplished. He is a typical missionary in physical and mental vigor.
130
28th. (8th).Tuesday. Fine and warm.
131
Examination in Church History. I had only a few hours to read up for this examination.
133
29th. (9th). Wednesday. Gloomy all day long.
134
Up from 3:30 a.m. Examination in English-made a bad bust. No wonder, considering how little time I had last evening and this morning to read up five different books. I ought not have put off reviewing thus to the last moment.
136
30th. (10th). Thursday. Fine.
137
Spent nearly whole a.m. in croquet to refresh the mind and the body a little. Spent the whole p.m. in croquet. Attended Christian Endeavor Society in West End Church. The subject was "How to become a strong Christian". I intended to talk a few words on the subject but the time was up before I could overcome my timidity. Don't hesitate to bear witness to God's grace. Don't wait for feeling, the changeable feeling.
138
It was a beautiful moonlight night. Walked round the Main building for a few moments with Jacob. Jacob said "Don't get introduced to the girls here. They don't treat foreigners like men". Jacob is a foreigner and a poor foreigner. The haughtiness and indifference of the girls seem to gall him. I know this too well to fool with girls.
140
31st. (11th). Friday. Cloudy, cold.
141
Wrote to Spencer, Kong Chee Yu, and to Bell. Sent my home-letters to Mr. Appenzeller asking him to inform me something about my parents. My heart bleeds to think of the anxiety and loneliness of Mother. God be very near to her. Attended Friday prayer meeting led by Dr. Hoss. A cloudy night.
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